Me & My Toronto

Fucking Losers

2011-07-01T14:24:00.006-04:00

I thought frosted tips went out with the Sony Walkman.

Gawker.com has brought to my attention the awesomeness that is Nik Richie. I tried to post a comment there but I'm having a hard time accessing the stream. Thank god I have a blog for just such an occasion. I wish to preserve this comment for eternity cause goshdarnit, it's a beaut. Behold, my no-holds-barred opinion of this gift to humanity...

missdelite: OMG, where's this hunk of man meat been hiding? His physique reduces me to a puddle of drool. It's like I'm drowning in my own desire! His look is so effin hot: 1 part sleazeball club promoter to 2 parts pet serial killer, slathered in Vegas used car salesman smarm. I bet he's got sweaty palms, rank breath & skid marks on the tighty whities his mom still buys him for Christmas. Swoon! Dare I speculate on his prowess in the bedroom? I do! I'd climb his pole & plant the flag if it weren't for the 'Monogamous Adonis' vibe he oozes from every pore. Siiiigh. WHY, dear god, are all the good ones taken??

Thing is, this jackass doesn't realize he's being USED by a culture of male resentment which is sacrificing his reputation at the altar of their chauvinism. The men who patronize his site wouldn't dare utter those cheap shots in a mixed, public arena where women are actually physically present, but thank bejeezus Hamoon Karamian exists to represent their insecurities & give them a place to vent. He's like the runty little dick in every group of male friends who they beat up on in a passive-aggressive, jokey sort of way. Where would these guys be without TheDirty? That's easy! Drinking, snorting & fucking their lives into oblivion amongst a tight group of friends while complaining about how their women are bleeding them dry. Oh but wait - that still goes on! Only now, they get to commiserate with millions of anonymous cowards online. It's like an army of whiny roaches high-fiving their way to a colostomy bag & an ever-dwindling retirement package. Score! Where do I sign up to suck the crotch sweat off their limp whiskey dicks while crying tears of gratitude for their convenient hospitality? I mean, I'm just begging to be used, right?

Right???

FUCKING LOSERS.

The Man Behind TheDirty.com Is Just As Awful In Person
The Man Behind TheDirty.com Is Still A Self-Aggrandizing Dick

Breaking the Ice

2010-12-16T20:59:00.005-05:00

How men with class, style and finesse meet women

So, let's say you want to ask out the cute girl at the checkout counter, bookstore or skincare kiosk. How do you do it? Do you spend a full minute and a half flirting with her only to get shut down when you suggest seeing the latest Harry Potter and sharing a tub of popcorn? Or do you stare at her uncontrollably from a distance, give her the creeps and then walk away mumbling to yourself something along the lines that she's probably a lezzie, anyway? I'm here to tell you that it isn't impossible to land a first date with her but it takes some effort and finesse on your part because the pitfalls are numerous and all-too-common. Guys tend to come off either too nervous or too aggressive and wind up alone, frustrated and confused. They think to themselves: "Where did I go wrong? Why didn't she smile and flirt back? What makes her think she's too good for me?" On and on, their thought processes turning them more bitter by the minute. Hey, lighten up bro - this ain't rocket science. Follow these easy tips and I guarantee the outcome will put you in good standing with that cutie and (hopefully) sharing a platter of antipasto at your favourite Italian restaurant in no time.

1. BE PRESENTABLE
I don't care how ironic you think a backwards trucker hat looks - she won't take you seriously in an outlandish get-up and you'll be summarily dismissed before you even open your mouth. Same goes for rumpled, mustard-stained clothes, too-baggy pants and dirty fingernails. Groom thyself, oh Romeo - and no, I'm not talking about getting regular manis and pedis here. Take a bath, shave/trim your facial hair, run some product through that mop you call a hairstyle and take it easy on the personal scents (guys should smell fresh and clean during the day - like a regular bar of soap). You don't have as wide a variety of outfits to choose from as we do, but for the purpose of impressing a woman, keep it conservative. Think 'job interview at the bank' and you'll look fine. Of course, I'm assuming you have in your sights a woman of quality and not some gum-cracking hussy with cornflakes dust in her over-exposed cleavage and breath sour enough to peel paint. You can do better than that, I hope.

2. GET FACE TIME
A few minutes at the checkout/sales counter, in the bookstore etc. is all you've got so make the best of it. Don't fidget, laugh nervously or stare - you need to be confident but not creepy. Express genuine interest in what she says without looking too eager. Desperation is a definite turn off. Conversely, it's a fine line between cool and aloof and guys often don't know where it is. It should go without saying that looking around at other girls or consulting your blackberry breaks eye contact and is a surefire way to put the kibosh on making further plans. Besides that, it's rude. Get it right or she'll think you don't give a shit about her and you're just a player.

In your first conversation, incorporate something about the weather (this is always a respectable starter) and your respective occupations. I've written a few lines to give you a feel for tone and tempo and I've tried to incorporate variations to take into account different scenarios. Feel free to improvise but pull back if you get the urge to do a Charlie Parker (famous jazz saxophonist and heroin addict - look it up).

CONVERSATION 1: OPENING LINES
You: It's busy / quiet today.
[she responds]
You: [segue into why it's busy / quiet - is it the holidays, for instance? - or move on to the weather] It's really windy / hotter than Haiti out there.
[brief convo on the weather ensues]
Y: [mention something about work] I'm up to my eyeballs in paper work and couldn't wait to get out of the office / I've been rehearsing for an audition and really needed to take a break.

[At this point you can guage her response to see whether she's expressing any interest in you. If she appears distant/distracted then there's no hope and it's time to move on to greener pastures. If, however, she makes eye contact, smiles a little and commiserates, then by all means take those as good signs to continue. If she's in sales, enquire about a product. If she's at checkout, ask her where you can find___(a product they carry).

Y: Well, it was nice meeting you,_______ (see name tag / she offers her name). I'm ________ (your name).

[Pause to see if she responds with a cheerful "Hi_____ " / "Nice to meet you,______". If not - yikes! Abort! Cold front up ahead.]

Y: Will you be here again this week?

[At this point she may suspect what's up. If she gets that you're interested in her, she can either volunteer that info willingly or regard you with wary apprehension. Be an adult and accept your fate accordingly. Of course, keep in mind that she may be continuing a professional rapport with no interest in you whatsoever. A second meeting should clarify this because sometimes only time can tell whether charm is genuine or simply a veneer. Assuming she offers an enthusiastic "yes" / she's only in on Saturdays etc....]

Y: Oh, that's great. I'll stop by and let you know how _____(product) worked out. Have a good day. [give a slight smile and leave]

Ta da! You did it! You introduced yourself, established contact by exchanging names and didn't come off like a complete jackass. Now show up no less/more than 2-5 days later like you said you would and continue where you left off. This is important! If you don't pay heed to the momentum of this budding connection, it'll be difficult to resume it. After all, don't you think it would be nice if she remembered your name the next time you see her? Of course you do.

3. THE RETURN
Again, time is of the essence here but keep in mind that the more product you buy, the more face time you get.

CONVERSATION 2: LOCAL ATTRACTIONS
Y: Hi______(her name). [small smile]
Her: Oh hi_______(your name).

[If she forgets your name, fill her in promptly without making her feel bad about it.]

Y: How's it going?

[Exchange pleasantries and fill her in a little about your day: "The boss is on a rampage" / "I got a callback for that audition I told you about" etc.]

Y: I tried that______ (product) you recommended / I was looking for and it was ________ (brief details).
[exchange a few words about that]
Y: Do you know where a guy can get a beer / great cheeseburger / vegan tapas around here?
[she recommends a place]
Y: Oh great - I'll check it out. Thanks for the tip, _____(her name). I'll see you later and have a good day.

Now, you may be thinking that an opportunity to ask her out was squandered here but think again - you're still gauging to see whether she likes you or is just naturally flirtatious with everyone. Cutie may have a corpulent boyfriend at home for all you know, and thinks that smiling brightly, giggling loudly and flipping her hair at strange guys is the only way to move product or avoid being called a bitch. Suck it up: wasting your time flirting with an unavailable woman is the price you pay for trying to pick up a stranger. If you find out that's the case, chalk up the 40 boxes of eye cream to collateral damage and move on.

4. SHOW YOUR HAND
You're going back to meet cutie and finally see where things stand. Don't allow more than five days to elapse between visits and try not to crap your pants.

CONVERSATION 3: "SO YOU WANNA...?"
Y: Hi____(her name). [go ahead and smile at her like you just got a raise]
Her: Oh hi______.

[If she still doesn't remember your name and/or doesn't seem pleased to see you then cut your losses as quickly and politely as possible.]

Y: How's it going?

[Exchange pleasantries. Remember: It's important that you pause after saying "Hi" and "How's it going?" to let her meet you halfway in the conversation. You need to know that she remembers you, is pleased to see you and you need to show her that you care about how her day's going. Don't launch into a tiresome monologue about yourself. You're trying to engage her in a conversational tango - not a spectator sport with her cheerleading you on the sidelines. Unless, of course, you're a selfish bastard. If that's the case, what're you doing here??]

Y: I went to the place you recommended and it was ________(say something positive even if the beer was warm and the food tasted like cat urine).
[exchange a few words about that]
Y: One of my favourite beer / cheeseburger / vegan tapas hangouts is ________(name local attraction). Have you been there?
[she has/hasn't...]
Y: It's a wonderful place. Why don't we go there ___(name of day) night? Are you free?

[This is the moment of truth: does she want to see you outside of work? If she gives an enthusiastic "yes", she'd like to go out with you, then bingo! You won her over and you can start mentally picking out your outfit for date night. If, however, she looks away awkwardly and mumbles something about "checking her calendar" or - heaven forbid - she mentions a boyfriend at the eleventh hour, then pick your ego off the floor and conclude the conversation as quickly and painlessy as possible. Let's face it: you were led astray by a woman who's either inexperienced, insecure or highly manipulative (or all of the above) and perhaps - just perhaps - you let your johnson do the talking and ignored some very obvious signals that a rejection was coming your way. It goes without saying that you should no longer have contact with this woman and need to avoid her neck of the woods like the bubonic plague. I have to say, though, that if you get that far without seeing her for what she is, then you've no business picking up women in public. Stick to set-ups and hookers cause ooh baby - it's a wild world out there and you just got bitten.]

Good luck!

Get Carded

2010-12-16T20:35:00.006-05:00

"They're real and they're spectacular." - Seinfeld

YOU need a business card.

No matter what it is you do, if you want to generate serious interest in yourself and what you have to offer, then a proper business card is the MOST important tool in your promotional material. Think about it: it's portable, customizable and provides everything a potential client/employer needs to know about you, your service and how to reach you. It can be provided on the spot at a moment's notice without fussing with gadgets, buttons and websites, and it's reasonably cheap to print several hundred cards with an eye-catching colour picture and bold, memorable graphics. I got my first set recently for less than $130 (including $30 for a mock-up) and I've been distributing them to select recipients ever since. And here's another important point you need to remember: cards can be handed to people you feel will best be able to take advantage of your service with the bonus of wowing them face-to-face with your pitch. A website can't do that.

My card has the above picture with 'MISS FIT' in big, bold blue letters followed by my phone number. On the back are these bullet points:

>PRIVATE, AT HOME SESSIONS
>LOW-IMPACT WORKOUTS
>STRESS-FREE GUIDANCE
>FLEXIBLE SCHEDULES
>REASONABLE RATES
>GREAT MUSIC
>DOWNTOWN TORONTO

Do you get it? I'm a home fitness provider who - for a little extra - will kick in a relaxing post-workout massage. (I mention the massage part when I hand out the card.) Not bad, right? Response has been positive so far (guys LOVE looking at boobies - go figure) and hopefully this will be the start of a new direction for me.

If you're a struggling actor, put your best colour headshot on the front with your name, number and email, and on the back:

>TALENTED ACTOR
>IMPROV SPECIALIST*
>EXTENSIVE___** EXPERIENCE
>FLEXIBLE SKILL SET
>PERSONABLE AND A QUICK STUDY
>FAVE MOVIE:___***

*You're an actor - improv is your bread-and-butter and you don't have to be Robin Williams to prove it.
**Insert 'stage/ad/live/TV/film (even if you've only done extra work)' here.
***A surefire conversation continuer. "Oh, you liked ____? Didn't you find the ending a tad pretentious?" etc.

Be you a graphic artist, musician, novelist or furniture maker, put your mug/design on a card and go hang out where potential clients/employers eat, workout, attend concerts and party. Become skilled at choosing your 'mark' and devise a way to approach him/her without accosting them. If they're in your vicinity and you sense an opening, you might want to try a line like: "Hi, do you have the time?" (it's lame - I know - but sometimes highly effective), or "I love that ring - where'd you get it?". Hey, you never know who you'll meet the next time you sidle up to the bar in that hot spot hotel and order an overpriced drink that'll cost you a month's worth of laundry quarters. It just might be worth it when the guy whose ear you chewed off the night before wakes up from his bender with your card stuck to his clammy, bloated face.

PREVIOUSLY: My First Million

This Just In...

2010-12-14T18:07:00.012-05:00

LOBLAWS @ ST. CLAIR W. & BATHURST

Love, love, love the graphics but the chips tasted like shoe leather dipped in flaming gasoline.

MAG COVERS @ METRO GROCERY

OLIVER & BONACINI
Brand new and gorgeous if a tad staid. Unfortunately, I'd have to rent my uterus to a Saudi Prince to afford a meal here.

REAL SPORTS BAR AND GRILL
I had a job interview at this brand spanking new establishment. It was one of the most excruciatingly awful experiences in my working life (such as it is). There was a roundtable interview with six of us women vying for position of hostess/server and the interviewer looked like she'd rather be fed her own eyeball with her foot than go through with it. Needless to say, with no experience in the food service industry and a padded resume, I didn't get it. They have a giant ass TV, though.

Sugar Spa sign

Mustang on St. Clair W. Ave.

UNION STATION
This hub showcases phenomenal stonework the likes of which we'll never see again.

UPPER CANADA COLLEGE

WHOLE FOODS

DEC. PICS
TIFF BELL LIGHTBOX
I hope there's more to this installation (and this newly-constructed building, for that matter) than what I saw, otherwise I don't know what the fuss is about.

THOMPSON HOTEL
10 ft tall bitch told me I couldn't take pics cause they get a lot of "celebrities" and "discretion", blah, blah, blah. What celebs? Just a bunch of doughy accountants eager to get out of the office. Another new construction that generated much buzz in the media and even more disappointment from said junior paparazzo.

Scarpetta @ Thompson Hotel

ONE @ HAZELTON HOTEL

You're looking at an $8 pot of tea and a $9 bowl of fries. Totally wasn't worth it.

Noor

Spotted this in Hudson Bay Centre - she says she got it in London, England.

Potato Gratin @ Victor__Hotel Le Germain

Dundas station

Cumberland Terrace

Ardene ring: 3 bucks. Style quotient: priceless.

75 Portland St.

Hudson Bay Centre

HOLT RENFREW
Tom Hardy

Jo Malone

Yup. $75 for a box of cookies.

[t.b.c...]

A Clean Break

2010-11-22T22:05:00.007-05:00

How to Orchestrate The Perfect Break Up

Hey hapless relationship veterans, I'm sure by now you've broken enough hearts to justify the existence of all the empty ice cream cartons and kleenex boxes in Canada. Stop making life so hard! When your relationship has run its course, exit with your head held high and your dignity intact. Don't drag it out past its expiry date or - even worse - run way like a spooked roach as if nothing meaningful ever happened between the two of you. For the love of god, offer closure and a way out that honours whatever kept you two together in the first place. If your boy/girlfriend was good enough to fuck-and-cuddle on the reg, he/she is damn well good enough for a decent goodbye. Stuck for words? No problem - memorize this passage until you're convinced you wrote it yourself.

"(Name), we've reached the end of the road as far as our relationship is concerned. I'm ready to move on and we can no longer be a couple. Please understand that I've no hard feelings toward you but this is something I need to do for myself. I want us to part on a high note, so I got you this..."

[brief hug]

"I'll walk you to (your car/ the bus stop etc.)"

[awkward silence]

"Goodbye."

[walk away and don't look back]

See how easy that was? Now remember these crucial tips:
1. Face-to-face is the only way to go. Choose somewhere quiet but not intimate, like a park bench, residential veranda or hotel restaurant (order a non-alcoholic beverage - not a meal).

2. Be calm but firm.

3. Don't mention the name of any third party whatsoever. Your soon-to-be ex doesn't need to know what your best friend/ mother/ priest thinks about the situation.

4. Forget about divying up your stuff. If you didn't get your shit out before ending the relationship, you might as well kiss it goodbye. (I'm not talking about married couples here - you feaks are on your own.)

5. Offer a small parting gift. Something meaningful but inexpensive and definitely not sexy, crude or humorous. It should remind him/her of an inside joke or special moment you shared. Don't dwell on it.

6. No intimate touching (duh!). A brief hug at the end will suffice.

7. Offer to walk him/her to the nearest mode of transportation. Obviously, the less time spent together, the better.

If you complete these steps as intended, then - congrats! - you're not a tool. You can now start a new chapter of your life with a clear conscience and no loose ends. After all, keep in mind that broken hearts heal eventually, but besmirched reputations do NOT.

Playing Games

2010-11-15T19:31:00.003-05:00

VIRGO Horoscope for week of November 11, 2010

The nature of the game is changing. Do you know which game I'm referring to? I mean the one that everyone's playing but no one's acknowledging they're playing. The rules of the game had held steady for quite some time, but recently they began to shift. Now even the game's rewards are in the process of metamorphosing. My advice? You don't necessarily need to splash a big dose of raw candor all over the place, but I do recommend that you at least tell yourself the truth about what's going on.

Free Will Astrology

Juiced Bar

2010-09-21T21:03:00.003-04:00

REAL SPORTS: Toronto's Sports Bar on Steroids
So how does Real Sports stack up? In keeping with recent athletic history, it’s a sports bar on some terrifying steroids. With 25,000 square feet, over 100 taps (I lost count) and 199 screens (no joke), it’s the bar equivalent of one of those juiced-up baseball players from the late 1990s, the ones with chipmunk cheeks, rapidly expanding hat sizes and testicles the size of green grapes.

But that’s not to say it doesn’t have balls to spare. The piece de resistance is a two-storey, 39-foot screen above the centre bar that makes the space feel like a stadium itself. With so many suited up Bay Street types looking for a place to unwind once the market closes, Real Sports is as loud as a stadium when somebody scores. [...]

We Can't Afford Ford

2010-09-21T20:36:00.007-04:00

When Rob Ford Becomes Mayor...
[EXCERPT]
But here’s the most disturbing truth of all: it’s not worth going into detail about the city Rob Ford promises because it’s pure fantasy. Mayor Rob Ford has absolutely no chance of enacting his agenda and will, as a result, grind the city to a halt, undoing seven or more years of progress and creating a situation much like the one he claims he’s addressing now.

Reality One: basic math
Ford’s numbers simply do not add up. The cuts he proposes to “waste” at City Hall are almost purely symbolic — a footnote to the budget — and are dwarfed by the $250 million a year in revenue that would be lost from his elimination of the vehicle-registration tax and land-transfer tax. That scenario alone would make his expansion of customer service, police service and subway building impossible. Meanwhile, cancelling new streetcar orders and discarding the ones we have while buying fleets of new buses would create hundreds of millions of dollars in new costs and vastly increase the operating shortfall of the TTC. We simply could not afford it.

Reality Two: he can’t boss the province around
Much of what Ford wants to do — notably cutting the size of council — would depend on provincial legislation McGuinty or any other premier would never approve. And his great transit scheme? At the moment, the province is paying for $3.7 billion worth of the Transit City plan Ford wants to scrap. Do you think they’ll continue giving him the money to use for his own devices?

Reality three: He can’t really boss anyone around
Finally, even before things get to the provincial level, Ford wouldn’t have the authority to get his ideas past the council level. He could set the agenda and make appointments to committees, but he — as outgoing Councillor Howard Moscoe put it — “could not pass wind” without winning a vote at council.

This is a problem for Ford more than any other candidate because he has shown no history of being able to work with anyone on anything. He proudly told me in 2006 that even council’s right wing hated him (“I don’t want to eat lunch with those guys anyway,” he said). It’s easy to forget now that even Mel Lastman considered Ford an enemy.

So who would accept the kamikaze mission of being his budget chief, charged with making his magical numbers add up? Who would sit on his transit commission, trying to keep the trains running while negotiating the stiff penalties and absurd demands of his platform? No one who knows anything about finance or transit, that’s for sure.

A CITY IN DECLINE
What we’re actually facing is gridlock and regression. Why? Because we’re looking at four years of angry shouting and a loud, probably unproductive argument between Ford and council (and between Ford and the province and between Ford and the city’s labour unions and between Ford and city staff…).

He might well succeed in stopping progress altogether in a few areas: grinding Transit City to a halt, cutting some taxes and slashing spending on arts and cultural programs. The city’s years-in-progress bike plan might be scrapped or halted, environmental progress rolled back. But Ford would replace those with nothing.

The opportunity cost — what we’ll miss out on by taking no action — will be huge. Development will slow as the planning department becomes paralyzed by political deadlock. Transit growth will stop and basic maintenance and service will be cut as the commission endlessly debates how to square financial and contractual circles. Basic infrastructure will be neglected. In short, the city will start to rot.

And, most distressingly for a penny-pincher like Ford, our financial hole will just keep getting bigger following tax cuts while pressing budget and revenue problems go unaddressed, forcing steep tax hikes or drastic service cuts or, most likely, both.

Then by the time the next election rolls around, everyone will be even angrier and perhaps we really will be a city in decline.

Gasaholic

2010-09-15T15:37:00.002-04:00

TORONTO CRAIGSLIST
[09.13.10]

ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH PASSING GAS

do you love to pass gas? do you have any talents or tricks involving passing gas? strange rituals that involve passing gas, do you have a hobby involving the passing of gas?
If this is you or someone you know please tell me about it. I am doing research for a project and are looking to interview people on their obsession with passing gas.
no need to clean it up. If are infatuated with flatulence let me know. I wanna hear from you and hear your story. thank you

Compensation: TBD

Chic Ink

2010-09-15T13:37:00.004-04:00

Black Line Studio

Venetian Lady__by Peter

Peter

Geeks Seek:

2010-09-05T00:23:00.005-04:00

TORONTO CRAIGSLIST
[09.04.10]

Geek gangbang

You will be tied down, blindfolded, gagged, used by 5-10 men, k!nky party? NO! Geek gangbang, you will be played with by a serious of random nerds, geeks, virgins, and social rejects who can barely handle their c*ck to take a p!ss let alone pleasure a woman. Pay is $1000. Must be disease free, willing to be kind and not mock the social downtrodden, call the occasional guy "tiger", and know that the blindfold is as much for your benefit as it is for theirs. Guys are not wanted for this ad, only require one woman to make this happen.

Compensation: $1000 3-4 hours

Abby & McGee
Pauley Perrette

Sexy Geek Women

Office Asset

2010-09-03T22:41:00.004-04:00

TORONTO CRAIGSLIST
[09.02.10]

female model for secretary

Busy office is looking for an attractive, open minded female model to work as a secretary and sales/marketing assoc in the office. you must be open minded and willing to meet the CEOs business and personal social needs. trust worthy and discrete a must. send resume and pic please.

Compensation: base + commiction

Best. Header. Ever.

2010-09-01T20:07:00.004-04:00

TORONTO CRAIGSLIST
[09.01.10]

FREEEEEEE WEEEEEEED

Bored & looking for someone cool to hangout with.

Hit me back if you wanna get high.

This is strictly platonic. I'm not looking for sex.

Compensation: No pay

Just for Kicks

2010-08-29T00:56:00.003-04:00

ADRIFT SKATE SHOP

Rub 'n' Tug

2010-08-29T00:18:00.007-04:00

Best Happy-Ending Parlors

OVERHEARD
Guy: I came for tomatoes and instead I get potatoes.
Attendant: It doesn't matter, cause either way you're going to making a stew.

Wanted: Model

2010-08-29T00:10:00.002-04:00

The X Club

2010-08-11T00:00:00.004-04:00

The X Club
FAQ
What kind of people will we meet?
The nice thing about The X Club is that it attracts all kinds of different people with different backgrounds. It is very common to see lawyers, doctors, pro athletes and many others. The common denominator however, is that all who attend are respectful, friendly and very open to exploring their inner most desires. Our clientele is very well dressed and mannered. People who attend The X Club are usually in committed relationships, regardless if they are married or not. Single women like to attend the The X Club because they do not need to deal with the hassles of single men at regular downtown clubs.

How High?

2010-08-09T15:14:00.007-04:00

TORONTO CRAIGSLIST
[Aug.08.10]

Sexy? Reasonable IQ? Perfect Job...

SEEKING THE HOTTEST, SEXIEST female capable of the job
THE WORK: Im P.A. To formidable Hollywood individual
Been doing the job some years
Workload has become unmanageable so have been sanctioned to hire an aid (or girl-friday) to pick up various tasks in each of 4 cities, one being GTA during the days when here.
Have stationed for the moment in Oshawa for peace and quiet's sake so should live in Whitby or Oshawa, have a valid drivers lic., Credit card, mailing address, be a happy, agreeable, people-pleasing YES personality.
I made 70,000 doing this job last year and it pays minimum $50/hr.
The work can be as small as picking up mail and stocking a bar with ice etc... To
Organizing logistics from other suburbs and booking hotels for celebs wishing to remain incognito
The one stipulation which matters greatly is that due to the sociology of the people involved and their habits the ideal candidate should be sexually resilient and adventurous. Religious and highly moral candidates will likely be miserable and simply quit.
There is much prep/training involved re: the sociology/manners/protocols/etiquette
Includes socializing some of which you will not be specifically compensated for but there's often the best restaurants, limos etc involved. The perks are amazing
The ideal candidate should be ambitious about leaving GTA as the full-time position will be given to one of the 4 candidates by JULY of next summer and will necessitate the fulltime activity of organizing entourage schedules and traveling between NY LA TO and sometimes Miami...and a wide assortment of other tasks for which you will be prepared for by that time.
Disclaimers and confidentiality contracts will be binding.
Ideal character should enjoy serving others, be eager to sometimes do lowly tasks and have a free spirit when it comes to sexuality and other moral arenas. Should have good manners, be hygenic/presentable and have priorities. (i.e. This job supersedes the relevance of any/all others.)
This is a 'fingersnapping' position. If you're not utterly comfortable with asking "how high"? when told to jump, please refrain from applying.
Most of this job deserves no or petty financial compensation.
It's really the perfect job as long as you have the right character. You can make boatloads of money doing next-to-nothing and for a fraction of the hours you'd put in elsewhere at a conventional job
No diplomas necessary, just the right attitude character fundamental abilities and sexiness.

Compensation: $50.00 scaling up

"POP!"

2010-08-04T15:08:00.004-04:00

Bubble Trouble
It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Jersey DJ

2010-08-04T15:05:00.003-04:00

King St. West

2010-08-04T14:46:00.005-04:00

A Toronto District Gets Creative
On weekends, King Street West between Spadina Avenue and Bathurst Street is like one long fashion runway, with its see-and-be-seen restaurants, bars and clubs. During the week, it's where a group of particularly creative local residents work, in entertainment and design, and where many live, too, in the loft-style condo developments sprouting up by the day.

Introducing: Scarpetta, the Thompson Hotel's New York Restaurant Import

Italian @ Buca

Artistic Roots

2010-08-04T14:20:00.006-04:00

Bloor St. West location

Test Pattern dress

Motherboard skirt

Roots x Douglas Coupland: offical site

Coupland's Cool Canadiana
Artist shares his vision in new clothing line for Roots

Points of Attraction

2010-07-18T19:21:00.022-04:00

What makes a person attractive? For me, it goes beyond looks and intelligence and I've come up with a point system to illustrate this. I apply it to both men and women in an attempt to adequately assess the potential for a rewarding relationship and I encourage you to do the same, but please keep in mind that this is a work in progress.

MISSDELITE'S ATTRACTION SCORECARD

LOOKS (2 points)
>Refers to public physical appearance.
>2 points because some features may be a turn on while others are not. Eg. I give Gerard Butler 1 point for having a somewhat handsome face & good body when he's fit and bearded Eric Bana 2 points (he looked good in "The Other Boleyn Girl").
>Includes sex appeal: a softer, more sensual side indicates the person is in touch with their animal instincts. Rawr.

INTELLIGENCE (3 points)
>1 point for book smarts, 1 point for street smarts and 1 point for relationship smarts. I won't waste my time with an Einstein who can't read a road map, a hustler who can't spell for shit or a serial cheater.
>Includes analytic intelligence: the ability to assess a situation and determine the right course of action.
>Includes attention to detail: it's one thing to acknowledge the bigger picture, but do they also pick up on the finer points?
>Includes environmental awareness: how well does your companion notice what's going on around him/her? Is the house burning down while they discuss Newton's Law of Physics? Save yourself and don't look back.

SENSE OF HUMOUR (1 point)
>Genuine laughter is such a turn on.
>Can they tell a funny joke? Can they take one?
>Are they more inclined to an upbeat disposition?
>Impossible to have one if they're not relaxed and comfortable in their own skin, which explains my lifelong aversion to Robin Williams' "schtick".

SENSE OF DECENCY (7 points)
>Absolutely crucial. I'll never understand why some people are attracted to tyrants like Mel Gibson.
>Breakdown: generosity of spirit (1), empathy (1), classiness (1), dignity/pride (1), diplomacy/tact (1), honesty (1) and conscience (1).

PHYSICAL HEALTH (3 points)
>1 point for awareness of what it takes to be healthy, 1 point for execution and 1 point for consistency.
>I rule out addicts of ALL stripes. If they don't care what they put in their body/can't help self-abuse, there's no future for us.
>Includes: adherence to a healthy diet, regular exercise, sleep patterns, fresh air/sunshine consumption, personal/environmental hygiene and stress management.

RESILIENCE (4 points)
>How well do they rebound from setbacks? How thick is their skin? Do they crumble into an emotional wreck at the slightest provocation?
>Breakdown: effort put forth (1), persistence (1), patience (1) and learning from mistakes (1).

CONFIDENCE (2 points)
> You either are or you're not, but I give 1 point for confidence in the workplace and 1 point for confidence in personal relationships.
>Are they confident enough to take (calculated) risks? Do they trust their instincts and demonstrate a good sense of timing? Do they accept or shy away from a challenge?

DISCIPLINE (3 points)
>Sometimes, restraint is an asset. How well does the person resist manipulation, temptation and peer pressure? Do they have good anger management skills? Do they take care of their body or shove whatever comes along into their gaping maw? And yes, I'm aware of the overlap with "HEALTH" - but go figure - you can't have one without the other.
>1 point for discipline in the workplace, 1 for in personal relationships and 1 for in personal health.

CREATIVITY (4 points)
>This includes two spheres: 1. Innovation at work and in one's personal life (ie. Do they demonstrate flexibility in their thinking and venture "outside of the box"?) and 2. an appreciation for the Arts. Do they paint, compose or dance? Are they moved by artistic expression?
>Breakdown: workplace creativity (1), innovation in personal life situations (1), artistic expression (1) and artistic enjoyment (1).

Total: 29 points

Ok, whew! That's quite a list. Yes, I know "people aren't perfect" blah blah blah, but the objective of this exercise is to expand the definition of "attractive". Oftentimes, we sell ourselves and each other short by stubbornly adhering to criteria that's far more limited in its scope. Don't get me wrong: if you don't like what you see from the get-go, then it's near-impossible to force oneself into a rewarding relationship, but there's so much MORE to take into account when assessing another person than we've been led to believe by TV, movies, magazines etc.

Also, notice that I've left work-related success off the list. Is he an astronaut or is she a doctor? Fine - obviously they've ample book smarts, discipline and persistence, but it's my belief that society labels accomplished people as "successful" while disregarding important factors like access to opportunities (ie. there's no such thing as a "level playing field" in the work environment) and a sense of human decency. In other words, it doesn't mean squat to me if Mr./Ms. X won the Nobel Peace Prize if they're a bona fide JACKASS in real life.

And this: let's say achieving a perfect score is an unrealistic goal for just about everybody. Well, fine! No need to fret - these are mere guidelines that challenge the boundaries of our expectations. Besides, even if you could achieve a perfect 29, what're the odds of meeting another 29? Slim to nil. BUT, if you - let's say - score low on health and human decency, chances are greater you'll meet someone who does too and both of you can enjoy time spent together devouring Twinkies for breakfast while shooting pigeons with homemade slingshots. After all, isn't depravity better accomplished with company??

Ciao 4 Now

2010-05-11T22:35:00.021-04:00

We only part to meet again. - John Gay

My Internet and cable bill is due on Friday and I can't pay it.

Guess how much money I have right now?

$250.

Yup. The last of my escort earnings cause I haven't seen any clients in a month.

A month.

To say I'm at a crossroads in my life is an understatement. I've no clue what to do, what can be done, or where my next dollar is going to come from, but I do know that I don't want to spend anymore time with strange men.

It's just too much to bear.

As much as it kills me to say it, I've Mr. Kamikaze to thank for my change of heart. Don't get me wrong - I was never cut out for this line of work - but being with him reminded me what it's like to be with someone I can truly connect with on a deeper level. It made being with other men I wasn't interested in that much harder. I turned down more calls than usual and suffered financially as a result. It's too bad he turned out to be such a disappointment - but given his track record - I was better off without him.

I don't know how much longer I'm going to have internet service, so I figure now is as good a time as any to put the kibosh on my blogging. It's eaten into too much of my time, and I feel like I need to make a fresh start, anyway. The Internet has exposed me to a lot of interesting things over the past 2-and-a-half years, and I'm proud of what I've amassed. I think my blogs serve as a snapshot of contemporary culture, and hopefully people will use them as a resource and source of inspiration.

I can never truly quit the web, so I imagine I'll pop up somewhere at sometime under a different name and I'm sure my voice will be familiar to those who've been hanging around here long enough. I'll always have an opinion and an eagerness to explore other peoples' exciting endeavours, so it wouldn't surprise me one bit if I became involved in creating a new, legitimate website focusing on all aspects of 21st century living.

Until then, I'll just have to cool my heels and pray for change in the right direction.

Ciao 4 now...

missdelite
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Psst - I'll be storing pics and links @ Uber Friendlee. It's not a blog, I swear!
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Picture This

2010-05-11T22:27:00.018-04:00

Penn Badgley & Chace Crawford

Andrea Casiraghi

Matteo Marzotto

Neko Case

Australia 2009__by The Sartorialist

TORONTO
Front St. & Jarvis St.__[daily dose of imagery]

Xmas at BCE Place__Everywhere

by Rick McGrath__[Flickr.com]

Umbra__final fashion

by Rick McGrath

by Rick McGrath
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LINK
48 Hour Magazine
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NEW POSTS
MD Gallery
Final Runway
MD2 Gallery
WTF is it?
MD4 Gallery
Final Roundup
TSP Gallery
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Having a Bawl

2010-05-11T04:04:00.005-04:00

Why Women Cry: Because We're Pissed Off
COMMENTS
I cry mainly out of frustration...and then get indignant about it, because the person on the other end gets self-important. It never solves anything!

Excellent point about gender conditioning here.

While women tend to cry when frustrated (you know, because angry isn't lady-like), men tend to get mad. An angry person who's (typically) bigger than you is intimidating at the core and has much more potential to influence the outcome of an argument than tears. After all, tears might play on our emotions, but anger and intimidation create fear. Has "Jonathan" considered that maybe his girlfriend starts crying during an argument because his anger is scaring her?

So if we assume that women cry during arguments to manipulate an argument, we must also assume that any time a man gets angry, he is doing so to scare his partner. This is a reductive and really sad way to look at complex relationships and emotions. But what else to expect from a column titled "The Trouble with Women"?

As a dude, let me say that I know very few men, if any, who are well-equipped to deal with/express their anger at all.

I, and most of the men I know, were brought up to repress our feelings b/c feelings and emotion "were for pussies".

Well let me tell you how well that has worked out ...

Sad? = Angry
Hurt? = Angry
Ashamed/Embarrassed? = Angry

In short, any non-happy emotion correlates to anger and anger alone.

One of these days I am gonna need a really expensive shrink.

Or I'll just drink until I have a heart attack.

When I got bitched out at work by a manager from another group and my manager for hurting someone's feelings (really, it was sarcasm and it wasn't even directed at him), I went out to my car, called my wife, and started bawling.

It isn't just a woman thing.

I think men are taught to channel anger into physical confrontation or to swallow it and take it out on someone else later.

What are women taught to do with their anger?
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Web 3.0

2010-05-10T16:50:00.004-04:00

Welcome to Web 3.0
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
As is so often the case, Joshua Errett has no idea what he's talking about. Apple's App Store isn't the anti-Internet: it's just another online store. It isn't elitist and it isn't policed, at least not in the totalitarian way Errett alludes to. All stores, whether online or bricks-and-mortar, decide what they will and will not sell, and can and do change their minds. Is that a problem?

Do I have a right to walk into a store and demand that they sell my product? Should I be able to install a Toyota part in my Honda?

It's clear that Errett hates Apple, like so many of the fanboys who litter tech blogs.

RELATED
How Web 3.0 Will Work
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5 Little Words

2010-05-10T15:26:00.009-04:00

If I had the means, I'd say these 5 little words.

I'd say them as often as possible, to people who needed to hear them and would value them the most.

I'd say them to people who are:
passionate,
intelligent,
talented,
creative,
innovative,
visionary,
driven,
daring,
kind and
sincere.

I'd say them freely and without a sense of obligation.

I'd feel good about saying them.

I wouldn't expect anything in return for saying them, knowing these words wouldn't be taken for granted.

I'd wish others said these words more often.

I'd know that by saying these words, I was doing my part to enrichen and strengthen - not only my community - but society at large.

I'd say these words to bolster necessary social structures that are already strained to their limit or to create ones that don't even exist.

I'd say these words to prevent good people from falling through the cracks.

I'd hope that these words would be passed on from one beneficiary to another.

What are these words?

How

much

do

you

need...?

?

?

?

But that's just me.
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I'm Not Me

2010-05-10T15:13:00.004-04:00

Columbia University: The Best Place to Score Drugs in New York
COMMENT
I've had a prescription for adderall since I was 10. It's kind of sad, actually. I don't know who I am and I'm never sure whether it's me or the pills, and I'll probably never completely get off them because they're a part of who I am. That said, I abuse them like crazy. I'm on it right now actually, sitting in the library of a northeastern liberal arts college, heart pounding, high (if you will) with the kind of euphoria that drives me to achieve beyond any means of which I'd otherwise be capable. I've also been up for three straight days, haven't eaten anything since Saturday and am about to start a 20 page paper due Tuesday. And it'll be the best damn paper I've ever written. Then I'll rage with whatever I have leftover at post-exam parties. I prefer not to think about my health and sanity and chalk my ignorance up to the innocence of youth.
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Snark Attack

2010-05-10T01:53:00.005-04:00

What oil spill?
Those are the healing waters of BP's new spa retreat for asthmatic Tea Baggers. It also cures eczema and plantars wart, but may aggravate chronic acne and induce nausea in eco-conscious individuals.
[via]
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NEW POST
Industrial Toll
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Today's Headline

2010-05-10T01:19:00.009-04:00

[via]

Are Teachers Turning Catholic to Get Jobs?

[more]
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You're Hired

2010-05-09T22:16:00.009-04:00

Prom king zombie costume

What NOT to Write in Your Cover Letter
A word to the wise - the following email incorporates everything you should not tell a potential future employer. Hopefully, everyone can learn from this person's mistakes! [...]

The Five People You Meet in [the] Hamptons
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NEW POSTS
Samantha Harris
Deranged Dowager
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Hold Your Ground

2010-05-09T04:53:00.024-04:00

Ever been engaged in a heated, low down, dirty, rotten war of words with someone? I was, yesterday morning. It started at 3:15 am when - after a long series of exchanges - I texted back to this big, fat, old, ugly, mess of a man to "CHOKE on his 'Sorry'" (because it was insincere) and then "GOODBYE, M__". I thought that was the end of it - but oh no - a bully always has to have the last word, even when they don't have a leg to stand on. From that point on, our communication escalated into a one upmanship nightmare.

6 hours later, when I checked my messages, there was his putrid response, littered with insults and lies. Do you think I was going to let him get away with it? Hell naw! I fired back a volley of my own, and then off we went, careening down a mountain of shit through verbally-charged minefields. Pow! Bang! Kablowey! All the while, I held my own and wouldn't back down. I gave as good as I got, and then some. By the end, I made that sonofabitch my bitch and gave him something to think about the next time he decides to engage an opponent he grossly underestimates.

Yesterday, I learned something about myself: I don't suffer fools at all. When you're wrong, you're wrong, and I won't hesitate to tell you. Of course, me being 5'5", this type of engagement is only possible in a non-physical arena, such as texting. Even engaging an opponent over the phone is ineffectual if their voice's louder and resonates deeper than my own - they can easily shout me down, no problem. But when it comes to a war of words - ie. ideas and values distilled - I'm not intimidated because my convictions fortify me against their bullshit. No one can convince me I'm wrong when I know in the depths of my soul I'm not, no matter how old, loud, big or "successful" they are.

I saved my half of the exchange. I've been reading it over and over again, proud of my audacity. It's not easy standing up to an older man, especially when you've been raised in an environment that was dominated by your father. I never said a damn word that contradicted my father's, in his presence or elsewhere. He was omniscient to me, and it wasn't until I hit my twenties that I started to question his perspective. Naturally, that's when our relationship fell apart, as I believe is common between fathers and daughters. As long as females remain little girls - both mentally and physically - Daddy's a happy man. The imbalance of power allows him to feel heroic and superior. But as soon as we start to mature, experiment and take ownership of our existence, he feels left out and threatened. This, of course, is when it's time for us to pack our bags and leave home.

Unfortunately, most of us women never get over our father's influence, and his presence in our mindset is reflected in how we relate to other men - be they partners, authority figures, other relatives or offspring. It's like his stamp of approval/disapproval is evident in the eyes of the males we encounter, and we lose perspective of what and who we're truly dealing with. These men are not him, but it's difficult to make the distinction. His gaze haunts us, even when he's thousands of miles away. It's downright spooky. I have to say, a man has to be one helluva strong character himself to break through the bubble of a father's influence; weak men just don't stand a chance.

So...do you want to see my texts? I have to warn you - it ain't pretty. Mr. Ass Pustule said some really foul things that don't bear repeating, but I think you can fill in the blanks, anyway. I'll add a few words here and there to clarify things, but other than that, you're on your own.

Got your helmet on?

Ok, we're going in...

The set up: At 3:15 am, I told him to "CHOKE on his 'sorry'" and then "GOODBYE, M__". 6 hours later, he starts the insult ball rolling by calling me a phony and implying that I deserve to be in the financial trouble I'm in. Me:

I never liked you. You're one of the ugliest men I've ever met, both inside and out. I'm GLAD I don't have to see you again or let you touch me.

Added:

FYI: Guys like you will ALWAYS have to pay for it, one way or the other. Don't worry, I've ALREADY lost your number.

He insults my looks and tells me I'm a lousy lay. This couldn't possibly be further from the truth. (Backstory: He's complained numerous times in the past about his nutjob wife.)

LIES. ALL LIES. I know sour grapes when I see them, you pathetic monster. Good luck with your CRAZY ASS wife.

He says I've turned him off from prostitutes. What he doesn't know is that I think the profession is a crock of shit. He also says that I should suck his c--k. Fucking loser can't even spell out the word.

You're welcome. Too bad only RETARDS, CRACKHEADS & YOUR CRAZY ASS WIFE will suck your COCK.

At this point, he's starting to weaken. Was it the jab about his wife or his lack of sexual desireability? He tells me to leave him alone.

You're the one who contacted ME. I was done with you HOURS AGO.

He says he feels sorry for me.

Coming from you, that means NOTHING.

He insists that I'm the one who initiated this shitstorm.

NO. My last message to you at 3:15 am said GOODBYE, M__. You're the one with Alzheimers, crazy OLD man. NOT ME.

He calls me a cunt.

I have a beautiful CUNT & you will NEVER see it again. THANK GOD.

He says he's glad about that, as if he wasn't the one harassing me to date him over the past year-and-a-half. At this point I'm into all caps because I sense he's faltering and his jugular's exposed.

AT LEAST WE AGREE ON SOMETHING. I HOPE YOUR COCK FALLS OFF & YOU ROT IN HELL. NOW FUCK OFF.

You'd think he'd back down, right? Walk away with what's left of his dignity intact? Uh uh - this fucker keeps coming back for more. His next insult's so lame I don't remember what it was.

YOU FIGHT LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL. PATHETIC.

Again he tells me to leave him alone, even though he's the one who can't stop responding.

I'M DONE WHEN YOU'RE DONE, BITCH.

He recycles more lame shit from before.

YOU'RE REPEATING YOURSELF. GET IT OVER WITH & JUST DIE ALREADY.

He tells me I'm no better than the shit clogging his ass. I'm officially bored with him and want to end it.

FINALLY YOU ADMIT THAT YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. GOODBYE, ASSWIPE.

Is he done yet? No, not even close. He texts "Cunt" again. I fire back with something equally caustic that I know will set him off.

FAG.

Ha! I was right. He phones me - which of course - I ignore. I can't, however, resist listening to his message. He sounds tired - not irate like I expected - and tells me he won't let me drag him through the muck, as if I was the one who insulted him first, and then he crosses the line into bottomfeeder territory by intimating that my estrangement from my parents is a reflection of the kind of person I am. Well, sweet-Jesus-and-all-that's-holy, I really let him have it. (Backstory: he's mentioned before how much he spoils his kids - especially his son. If the young man - not child - so much as stumps his toe, Big Daddy Handout is on the next flight out before it's begun to swell.)

GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE, MOTHERFUCKER. YOUR KIDS DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. AS SOON AS THE MONEY'S GONE, SO ARE THEY.

Silence.

FYI: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOOPED TO NAME CALLING. NOT ME. FINALLY YOU'VE MET SOMEONE WHO WON'T BE BULLIED & YOU DON'T LIKE IT. GOOD. SUCK ON IT.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

-

-

-

Check and mate.

I win.
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Hey Life

2010-05-07T22:22:00.002-04:00

What's the deal, here?

I'm still waiting for a sign things will be alright, but you give me nothing.

I'm running out of time and patience.

Am I going to be ok or not?

Your silence on the matter is not cool.

When will this torture end??
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New Posts

2010-05-07T04:06:00.007-04:00

My caption: Diary of a Kept Man

Aperlaï Shoes
Gunn's Faves
Baptiste Giabiconi
Crash Explained
Hormone D
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Fucking Hypocrite

2010-05-06T23:54:00.010-04:00

SWAT Team Raids House, Shoots Dog Over 'Small Amount of Marijuana'
COMMENTS
Thank god they got rid of it. Kids in the house?
Thank god.

That's horse shit to expose children to that stuff.

"WTF what are you guys doing?" ---They are busting you for being an illegal drug user. Now sit down and take your PWN.

If you don't want to be harassed, don't break the law. Doesn't matter if YOU don't feel pot is illegal. Your country has determined it is, don't agree? Don't live there, or take it up with the courts/congressmen/etc.

missdelite: You don't have any vices, do you? And you don't know anyone close to you who does, right? And obviously, you've never been harassed by law enforcement officers or handed an unfair verdict in court or known someone who has, is this true?

How else to explain your blind faith in the judiciary process and your inability to see an abuse of power when it's right there before you? Just because someone - who believe me, has no vested interest in your wellbeing - makes a ruling, you believe they're doing it to protect your interests.

Bwahahaha! How precious! What kind of glass muthaf@kn house do you live in, anyway??

I'm willing to bet my left butt cheek you're married or related to one of the guys who helped come up with or who actively enforces these Draconian drug laws, and he's holed up in a seedy motel room in Amsterdam right now snorting coke out of a hooker's gash.

How lucky do you feel, you fucking hypocrite?

missdelite: And you know what's funny? Law enforcement wastes precious time, money and resources on these small-time crooks while the kingpins roam free and unmolested.

As long as police chiefs can hold press conferences boasting about their number of arrests, and politicians can line their pockets with more money from taxpayers to fight the "War on Drugs", eveybody's happy.

But what about the kid OD'ed in a derelict warehouse, lying in a pool of vomit and excrement with a needle stuck in his/her arm? Are they just collateral damage from whom everyone else profits?
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TRAILERS
Blow
American Gangster
Scarface
Goodfellas
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LINK
Resolved: Inmates Make Tough Debaters
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Cash is Trash

2010-05-05T07:25:00.011-04:00

Picasso Sells for Record $106.5 Million
COMMENTS
Even in terms of rich people economics this makes no sense to me. I love Picasso, don't get me wrong, but in todays buyers market I could probably buy a small island, a Gulfstream jet to transport me, and finance my supervillain-esque island compound for that price.

reply: Cash is trash.

Art can be sold overseas, is easily transported, and is untraceable. You can also claim it as assets on a balance sheet.

It's a better investment than something as louche as bouillon.

Art is always valuable as a vehicle for money laundering. Not that I think there's anything wrong with that from an ethical standpoint, it's just that's what it's for.

But in this case, when cubism goes out of fashion eventually, what's a billionaire to do? New art crazes are always happening, but they ain't making any more islands (if Dubai's real estate collapse goes as expected. Just bide your time...).

reply: Eh, eventually, the art market will fall apart, as it always does.

Buyers pick it up for "legacy" and to pad their egos. You're a pretty big pimp among rich people if you have a Picasso. How rich you are stops mattering so much at a certain point.

That's when you start buying art, bankrolling "grassroots" political machines, producing art, running philanthropies, etc.

When cubism stops being cool, you donate the paintings to a prominent museum.

It may also be a symptom of the stimulus boom. The smart money will dump cash when inflation is coming without many prospects for alternative investments.

I mean, it's a pretty fucking sweet deal when you can use ZIRP to buy Picassos for nothing. I'd do that deal many times over.

When political risk is high, it's also a great time to dump your cash reserves into easily smuggled assets.

Remind me to hire you as my accountant and general financial adviser when I attain my empire. You seem like you'd keep a cool head and manage to get me a sweet deal when the revolution overthrows my totalitarian regime. In all seriousness though, your perspective on art as an investment for the super-rich is really intriguing and has educated me as to why these people think a Picasso may be worth 0.1Bn dollars. It makes total sense in the same way that any other stable alternative to cash does.

reply: Accounting, you'd have to find someone else. General financial advisor, sure.

But I'd loooooove to have a Canadian work visa, at least for a time. Canada is the atheist Saudi Arabia with plenty of mines to boot.

A lot to love about the culture, at least.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sotheby's Preview Work of Tamara de Lempicka
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10 Career Don'ts

2010-05-04T04:50:00.008-04:00

Fashion Design

10 Career Don'ts: Or How NOT to Get a Career in Fashion
3. Don’t roll your eyes. Or if you do, roll with them toward the exit sign and then head out the door. [...]

RELATED
Before They Were Socialites - Part 3
Who is the babyfaced girl on the left who doesn't look like she could hurt a fly?
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NEW POSTS
Grant Achatz
Design Moment
2010 MET Gala
Facebook Famewhore
Why Don't You?
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Today's OMG

2010-05-03T03:34:00.011-04:00

Ukrainian Parliament

OMG I found my next wallpaper.
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LINKS
Greenaid Seed Bombs

+Like Broadway, But Illegal
+Jeff Stark and 'The Sweet Cheat'
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MUSIC
Tik Tok Parody
Ke$ha Diss
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NEW POSTS
Cover Girl
Michelle Trachtenberg
Vodka Cock
Hookup App
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I'm Scared

2010-05-02T22:00:00.017-04:00

You'd think a purse that looks like a gaping vagina would be full of money, don't you?

Hey, guys - guess who's officially a squatter? Me! I didn't pay my rent on Friday cause I don't have it. Guess who sucks (figuratively) at being an escort? I do!

I HATE MY JOB.

There's no personal fulfillment in trying to satisfy someone you don't care about. I don't care how many Happy Hooker stories you read. Belle de Jour and Diary of a London Call Girl can kiss my ass. I've become enlightened to the ways of privileged white female prostitutes, and they're playing in a whole other ball game than the rest of us. Apparently, white skin = better, even though I've left behind men with a smile on their face who'd beg to differ.

MEN LIKE ME. SOMETIMES EVEN TOO MUCH TO PAY FOR IT.

Unfortunately, I've no marketable skills. If I did, do you think I'd be doing what I do? I didn't choose my line of work - I fell into it out of necessity. And if you think I'm going to work three minimum wage jobs to pay the bills, then think again. I'd like to think there's more to life than slave labour, and I've more to offer the world than shiny toilets and a pleasant phone manner. I wasn't built to wipe some old guy's ass while he looks down my top and drools on my shoe. I'd rather hop on a bus with my last few bucks and ride to the middle of nowhere, curl up in a field and wait for the vermin to gnaw me to death.

I HAVEN'T SEEN A DENTIST IN TWO YEARS.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my Dad for telling my Mom, when I was in high school, that I didn't need a summer job cause my time would be better spent taking art classes and writing book reports. Those summers I spent struggling through "Pilgrim's Progress" and "The Prince and the Pauper" really didn't pay off. Those water colours I dabbled in aren't worth the cost of the supplies it took to make them. The summers I spent volunteering (my idea) at the Canadian National Institute for the Blind, Women's College and Sunnybrook hospitals, looked great on my resume, but never put a dime in my pocket in terms of helping me to garner future employment.

I'VE NEVER WORKED A 'REAL' JOB IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

And thanks, Dad, for pushing me to do pre-med at university even though I had no natural affinity for physics and chemistry and no desire to be a doctor. The ensuing disillusionment that settled in after dropping out, deepened my psychological development while forcing me to question my identity. If I wasn't going to be a doctor healing sick African babies (his dream, not mine), then who the fuck am I??

EVERYTHING MY FATHER EVER TOLD ME WAS TRUE TURNED OUT TO BE UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY FALSE.

And so here I am, destitute. My "busines", such as it was, never recovered from the dive it took when the markets crashed over a year-and-a-half ago. I'm like one of those small businesses that did just okay enough to survive before the recession, that's now cleared out, boarded up and a hollow landmark to someone else's livelihood. Funny, I've yet to see one media report about what happens to those people after they've finally thrown in the towel. I guess those kinds of stories don't sell rags or increase pageviews. But how the rich are sacrificing by cutting back junior's hockey practices from three times a week to two? Now that's a story! Run with it!

I DREAD CALLING MY CONDO MANAGER TOMORROW.

Needless to say, if things don't turn around for me in a dramatic way over the next few days, I'm out on my ass. I don't know where I'll end up, cause I'm too scared to think that far ahead. (Liar - it's all I've been thinking about for months now.) I hope I can continue to stay where I am, and get out of the business in a way that doesn't turn my life upside down, but I have to say at this point, it looks like it's going to take a fucking miracle. I'm supposed to meet someone tomorrow night who's well-connected and could possibly open some doors for me, but he's not exactly reliable.

I'LL FUCKING TAKE WHAT I CAN GET.

Oh, and one more thing?

I DON'T FUCKING DESERVE THIS.

Modern Hooker

2010-05-02T20:05:00.007-04:00

What does it take, to make it as a fake?

Injected to avoid feeling rejected.

WHCD 2010: The Red Carpet
COMMENT
missdelite: That's it. If I ever see Kim Kardashian in a Hollywood movie, I'm going to shoot myself. At least Simpson and Bieber can sing, fer chrissakes.

Pop Quiz! Kim Kardashian is famous because:
a)golden shower sex tape
b)daddy's Bruce Jenner
c)face + tit + butt surgeries = Tinseltown "pretty"
d)she's servicing every dessicated studio exec from New York to L.A.
e)she's a modern Al Qaeda Mata Hari
f)the world's a sad, muthaf@kn place where only the crass survive
g)all of the above

If you chose g) then ding ding! We have a winner! Now go cry yourself to sleep and pray that she's such a bitch in real life, her make up artist snaps and stabs her in the butt with a MAC lip pencil, causing her to drown in a pool of her own saline solution. Horndogs around the world will mourn her loss for 2.2 seconds before they move on to the next bimbo in a tight dress. It's the circle of life 2010 celebrity style! Aren't you glad you came along for the ride??
_________________________________________________

Spring @ ModCloth

2010-05-02T03:14:00.014-04:00

Mini Cardboard Mounted Bison__$11.99

$19.99

Ice Invaders ice tray__$9.99

The Cindy dress__$67.99

Dress Like an Egyptian__$72.99

Industrious dress__$119.99

Wool You Be Mine bolero__$64.99

$39.99

Bark Reynolds fetch toy__$12.99

Hello, Gorgeous pocket mirror__$6.99

Safety Misinformation passport wallet__sold out ($22.99)

Vintage Ella evening bag__sold out ($39.99)

MODCLOTH
_______________________________________________

GIFTED
For the diehard Conan fan
Robo Coco
_______________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Best Dressed
depotArt
With Regretsy
Porn's Prettiest
_______________________________________________

How Dare She?

2010-05-02T00:21:00.005-04:00

Halle Berry is Single and Other Exciting News for Guys
COMMENTS
I doubt Gabriel Aubry will have trouble finding another woman who is both younger and more beautiful than Halle Berry. One who will hopefully have fewer "issues" than Halle.

Also, Halle Berry has had two husbands who cheated on her, a boyfriend who beat the hell out of her and now a baby-daddy who has left her. They all leave HER!! Not a good track record. Obviously, beauty is not everything. Maybe Halle has nothing else to offer the men who come into her life; perhaps she has too much baggage; perhaps she is a boring lump of insecurity. Men get tired of that shit, no matter how beautiful the woman is.

So, yeah, Halle will find another man (if she wants one) but will things turn out any better for her? Will she be happy again? I don't think so. Halle fucking Berry is not a happy woman.

missdelite: *sniffff*

I can smell the resentment from here.

You know that itch you can't scratch? It's actually caused by bathrobe crumbs worming their way into every orifice of your being. Soon you'll be nothing but a pile of Cheeto dust and cat hair moistened by the tears of your lost youth. A forensic team will sift through your moldy remains and conclude that death was caused by the rupture of a jealousy-induced ulcer that slowly over the years ate away at you from the inside out.

After hearing about your terrible fate, Jon Stewart will launch into a tirade on his show about the rise in deaths by Gossip Exhaustion. Word will reach Halle Berry and she'll offer to scatter your ashes from the deck of her 200 ft yacht parked in Port de Saint Tropez while her hunky assistant in the tightest shorts imaginable gently cradles her Oscar and looks on in admiration. His aviators will reflect the flashes of paparazzi bulbs, the locals will cheer, and your moment of glory will finally be realized, all thanks to Halle "Who the Hell Does She Think She is, Anyway?" Berry.

Back at your place, a lonely cat howls with hunger, waiting to be fed..
________________________________________________

Snark Attack

2010-04-30T20:18:00.010-04:00

Did a Law Student 'Cat Fight' Lead to Harvard's Racist Email Scandal?
COMMENT
So she's into white supremacy,who cares?!
I do. And everyone who's ever been the victim of racism does.

As Penn (from Penn & Tellers TV show) said maybe you guys are just to weak for the first amendment.
Penn's your hero? Now THAT'S weak.

You can't in allow health care rallies than ban Tea Party events.
Write a proper sentence, for fuck's sake.

You support Pride Marches and then Ban KKK Meetings.
Yup. But don't worry - you can recycle those sheets and a little bleach will get out the blood of my ancestors.

Everyone one needs to be heard and not dismissed.
Incorrect. Case in point: pedophiles, bestiality enthusiasists, incestuous grandparents and a commenter named "quickstrike".

I feel that Stephanie Grace is wrong, however I resepect her opinion.
She's a lucky woman to have earned your "resepect". That's like a budding chef being praised for his knife skills by Jeffrey Dahmer.

"While I may not agree with what she says, I will defend to the death her right to say it!"
Go ahead. I won't stop you. And if you don't succeed the first time, you're in luck cause this won't be the last time Ms.Grace puts her foot in her mouth.

And you know what? The irony is, I don't think Stephie would welcome your support. She's an elitist Harvard law student and you sound like you fell off the back of a turnip truck. If it makes you feel better, maybe one day you'll meet her at a Klan rally and she'll let you light her cross-burning match. You can remind her of the day you went to bat for her and she'll look at you as if you're dipped in shit, but at least you'll walk away feeling good about defending her right to regard you as the jackass that you are.
__________________________________________________

LINK
It Could Be True
__________________________________________________

Fail Culture

2010-04-30T07:14:00.006-04:00

ROFL Con Tomorrow!
___________________________________________________

Who Were They?

2010-04-29T20:27:00.006-04:00

Harvard Law Student Starts Racist Email War, Will Clerk for Cow Porn Judge This Summer
COMMENTS
I'm not sure what the normal reaction to dissent here on Gawker is (as my silly name indicates, I spend most of my time on Deadspin). At the risk of being assailed with the sort of profanity-laced anger that this story has generated, I must say that I don't share in the rather broad view of what constitutes "racism" among the majority of commenters here.

The mere suggestion that it is possible that intelligence - however one might define it in this instance - is not distributed precisely equally among all racial groups does not, in and of itself, constitute racism in my opinion. So long as one does not extend that conclusion to any sort of moral or legal judgment that implicates the group, I don't see it as bigotry. Speaking personally, I avoid judgments about any group, and stick to individuals. Quaint as that notion is. But I digress . . .

Put another way - the refusal to keep an open mind that the results of some hypothetical (perhaps impossible) scientific experiment may run counter to one's pre-existing ideological tenets seems troubling. Blind adherence to those principles, no matter how benevolent they may be, could potentially compromise the acquisition of any truth that does not mesh with them precisely.

What's frightening is that it seems like, if many of the commenters had their way, this person would be barred from ever holding a job of any kind. Others upped the ante by expanding the target. The legal profession as a whole was deemed suspect, as entry into law school was evidence of either deficiency in the hard sciences, or poor moral character.

I would humbly suggest only this: That by taking so strident a posture, one seems less open-minded than the very people they're attempting to condemn.

missdelite: "The mere suggestion that it is possible that intelligence - however one might define it in this instance - is not distributed precisely equally among all racial groups does not, in and of itself, constitute racism in my opinion."

It may not constitute racism, but it does constitute lazy thinking.

I'm going to assume that we're referring to book smarts as opposed to street smarts, because the former is measurable by test scores while the latter can't be quantified into a neat, chart-ready statistic.

I define "book smarts" as intellectual training that prepares an individual for employment in a field that requires higher learning. If you want to look at test scores and make a correlation between race and intelligence, you first have to examine who has access to what academic prepatory tools and why certain groups have access in higher numbers than others.

Who goes to the best schools? Who can afford the best tutors? Who gets preferential treatment in classrooms? Who can afford tuition to an Ivy League institution? Whose father fraternizes with high ranking CEOs who can guarantee his recently graduated son/daughter an interview?

Once you've answered these questions, the next logical step is to ask "Why?", which inevitably leads to an examination of Western history.

The fact is, you simply can't draw any conclusions about the relationship between race and intelligence in contemporary society without looking at the history of conquest and subjugation, slavery, privilege (be it earned or robbed) and social exclusion.

This is why I called the suggestion you mentioned above "lazy thinking", because it's just too easy to blame one group's lack of progress on some hypothetical defect they were supposedly born with as opposed to a burden they were saddled with the moment they fell out of the womb. It conveniently ignores social structures that've been in place for hundreds of years and continue to benefit certain groups over others to this very day, in an attempt for that group to justify living off the fruits of other people's labour.

And yes, it's the same lazy thinking that leads to moral and legal judgments that implicate entire swathes of people deemed intellectually inferior. After all, how can one group justify punishing and limiting the personal freedoms of another group if they don't see themselves as intellectually superior? What, exactly, gives a group the right to act as judge and jury over another?

I can only attribute your lazy thinking to a certain comfort level derived from reaping the benefits sowed by past generations. It would do you well to acknowledge the sins and triumphs of your ancestors that afforded you a place of privilege in society. Maybe when you've understood what your family's been through, you'll get a clue as to what other families have not. Just be grateful your family's records have (most likely) survived hundreds of years. Mine - on the other hand - were lost the day my ancestors were either herded onto merchant and slave ships or slaughtered by conquistodors who "discovered" them on their native soil.

Who were my great grandparents? Honey, I don't know. Do you think my family's lack of connection to prosperous institutions over a multitude of generations has impacted my progress as a citizen today? Most definitely "Yes".

Oh, and guess what? My intelligence and genes have nothing to do with it.
_______________________________________________

NEW POST
Racial Profiling
_______________________________________________

Today's OMG

2010-04-27T00:00:00.018-04:00

The Woombie

OMG it's a straight jacket for babies.
_________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
GG Fashion
Paris Trash
Oh, Hank
Jack the Stripper
Seeing Red
Need a Trim?
Banned in Europe
_________________________________________________

Noble Deed

2010-04-25T01:18:00.007-04:00

More Than 20 People Passed as Homeless New York Man Bled to Death
COMMENTS
Sorry, but this woman deserves the brunt of the blame here. After getting her ass saved by this guy, she couldn't dial 911 and tell them she was just mugged at knife-point at X corner and get a patrol car to take a look around? Not only is this poor guy dead, but this douche is still on the streets looking for his next victim. (not that they would've necessarily caught him but Jesus, you never know...and at least there's an alert out for other potential victims.) Then again, maybe she didn't want to waste her cell phone minutes. Or have her green card status checked...?

missdelite: A person can jump to a lot of conclusions based on the scant evidence we've been given about this incident, but only an ass would say "this woman deserves the brunt of the blame here". Seriously dude, what are you smoking? Do you really think she gave a fuck about her cell phone minutes after having been robbed at knifepoint?

Obviously, you've never been attacked or traumatized a day in your life, in which case bully for you. I hereby sentence you to 40 days community service at a rape crisis centre to get your empathy back.

Or go punch a kitten, if that's what you're in to.

What am I smoking? What are you smoking? Do you really think I believe she's worried about her cell phone minutes? Sarcasm. Sarcasm. As for being assaulted or traumatized by an assault, yes I've been a victim of it in good ol' NYC, and the only decent thing to do in this instance (assuming the woman herself isn't also stabbed and dead somwhere) is to report this immediately for other women and the community.

missdelite: Sarcasm FAIL.

How wonderful that you're able to function with a level head moments after having been attacked. Of course, all victims are just like you, or else something must be wrong with them.

And this: we don't know for certain she didn't call 911. Maybe she did and the police took their damn time as is often the case. I certainly wouldn't blame her if she didn't, as it's also possible she collapsed at the nearest establishment from shock. Why don't you call all the area ERs and find out whether they got a call for a disheveled woman passed out on the floor of a McDonalds or Starbucks before chastising her for not having done her civic duty?

PS - I don't smoke, but I sure as hell know when it's being blown up my ass.

I hope that if we're ever confronted by a similar situation in the future, that if I come to YOUR aid and get stabbed, that you'll just go lie down in a Macdonald's or Starbucks all disheveled by the trauma. Like Mr. Tale-Yax, I look forward to bleeding out on the sidewalk because YOU were so traumatized. Heh heh, that's rich.

missdelite: What's rich is that you can't conceive for one second how a victim could possibly be in no position to help out another victim just because they were rescued. Somehow, my "collapsed/passed out" became your "just go lie down", as if the attacked woman casually stopped by the nearest establishment to enjoy a moment of rest between sips of coffee, as opposed to actually being caught up in the throes of trauma. How callous of her to ignore his chivalrous act! Why the hell did he even bother if she was going to walk away, huh?

Cause that's what decent people do. They intervene when they see a crime being committed, without looking for anything in return. Unfortunately, this man was a victim of cause-and-effect and he didn't anticipate being stabbed. If there's anyone who should be blamed here, it's the goddamned criminal who probably walked away with 40 bucks and a tube of lipstick.

At least Mr. Tale-Yax died having done something noble. Lord knows, there's no dignity in living on the street, where a guy can get knifed for his shoes and the sidewalk is likely the only place where he can lie down and not catch a serious case of head lice.

I take back my suggestion for you to go work at a rape crisis centre. I thought it might help you get your empathy back, but I see you had none to begin with. And if you see me being attacked, don't bother intervening. The guilt of not having returned the favour would surely kill me.
________________________________________________

Picture This

2010-04-24T19:29:00.012-04:00

Emily Blunt

Cheyenne Jackson

Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Cristiano Ronaldo

Sean Faris

Marion Cotillard

Clive Owen

Alexander Skarsgård

Ryan McPartlin
___________________________________________________

CLIP
Tommy's Dream
___________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Emily Blunt
Retail Stars
Design Moment
Coming Soon
Supernerds
___________________________________________________

COMMENT
The closest we will ever have to a back up Heath Ledger. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the next joker. The resemblence is uncanny, scary even. [Youtube.com]

Only YOU

2010-04-23T21:43:00.004-04:00

"Why Women Find Their Parents Unpleasant"
COMMENT
missdelite: That 7.2% accounts for men who love their mother so much no other woman can compare.

As for myself, I hate being around website administrators who - after 2+ years - don't feel I have anything of value to add to their site. I don't take it personally, but I think it's a crying shame when women don't support other women who challenge the status quo. Maybe if I peppered my comments with more super, oooh, totes, haz and squeee, I'd have a star by now, but that's not who I am and there's nothing wrong with that.

My comments have been promoted here more times than I can count, but I'm tired of seeing them show up in the grey in the first place. It's insulting to my intelligence that my presence here is given less consideration than Lindsay "Can't See Straight" Lohan and Kim "Toilet Bowl" Kardashian.

"Female Empowerment", my ass.

If there's one good thing to come out of me abandoning my Jezebel account, it's that I'll no longer have to look at my comment page dressed in that nauseating baby blue and pink colour scheme. It looks like a fucking nursery in here...oh wait.

I'm going to leave you all with one last thought: Only YOU hold the key to your own cage.

Later, Jezebishes
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Do it Live

2010-04-22T20:43:00.005-04:00

Neverending White Lights__Sunrise Records

Illscarlett__Sunrise Records__[pics: Blog.to]

Record Stores Unite
Thanks to the resurgence of in-store performances, stores now act as social arenas as much as retail outlets, adapting to serve a niche market rather than the general public. [...]

Tom Bunning__Cargo__London, England

Firetrap's Staggering Success!
FIRETRAP were the proud sponsors of this year’s Stag and Dagger – the ‘one-ticket-gives-access-to-all’ concept festival. [...]

$5,430 Jeans

2010-04-21T18:47:00.011-04:00

G-Star jeans

+G Major
+The Great Debate
_________________________________________________

LINK
Zaz Metal Mesh__Nooka__$395

Just in Time
_________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Cristiano Ronaldo
It's My Life
On Display
Design Moment
What Turns You On?
_______________________________________________

MUSIC
Feel it in My Bones (vid)
_______________________________________________

Be Honest

2010-04-20T18:55:00.006-04:00

[via]

386,170 Unhelpful Things
COMMENT
missdelite: I find it interesting that most of you feel I'm "judging" an overweight person if I see them indulging in an unhealthy food. That's not the case because I don't know that person and have no basis for judging them as people, but can the action itself be judged? Yes, I believe it can.

If you hear a heroin addict complain one moment about how they're tired of being addicted, and then see them shoot up the next, aren't you allowed to judge their action as being unhealthy and contradictory to their stated intentions? At what point are you allowed to say "Look, I know it's hard but you're hurting yourself and I can't be a part of it anymore"?

Also, in terms of what's causing people to be overweight in unprecedented numbers, I've heard the following reasons: slow metabolism, muscle weighs more than fat, heights increasing over the decades, glandular problems and genetic predisposition.

Ok, fine. For some people, but what about the rest? Let's get down to brass tacks and talk about food and our complicated relationship to it. Personally, I live downtown above a mall where every junk food imaginable is available within walking distance. If I didn't have a gluten allergy, I'd be scarfing Quiznos, Chinese take out and BBQ potato chips at every possible moment. It wouldn't take long for me to pack on the pounds and I'd find it near impossible to stop because it tastes so damn good. When will I hear an overweight person admit that their physical state is about how they relate to food and the fact that they're dealing with an addiction that Jenny Craig can't solve? This forum is anonymous and more likely to empathize with personal weakness than anywhere else. There's a real potential for a support group atmosphere, but not if people aren't honest with themselves and each other.

I have to say, I'm impressed when I see an overweight person on a bike or jogging on our streets, cause I know it takes a lot of courage to be out there in front of everyone doing their thing. To be honest, I'd rather join the "Health Acceptance" fan club because it makes more sense to me. I've a predispositon to do so and stand by my choice. Please don't judge me for it.
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04.16

2010-04-18T05:41:00.007-04:00

Checking in at Foursquare's Hot Tubbin', Rooftop, Rock Star Moment

Dennis Crowley - bio
________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Iris van Herpen
Alexander Skarsgård
Mobile Office
Traffic Stats
________________________________________________

Privilege

2010-04-16T19:13:00.009-04:00

The ol' Ivory Tower

The New York Post Explained in One Cropped Photo
COMMENTS
Maybe I'm dense. I don't get why having this woman cropped out of the photo is scandalous. Is she somebody we should recognize? Was she mentioned in the article? How does leaving her in the photo add value - or, how has removing her decreased the value of the photo?

[...]

missdelite: People want stories, not the truth, which brings me back to that godawful photo. The Post published a version that was palatable to their audience, because they're in the business of reinforcing racial stereotypes that some people find comforting and familiar. It's their niche, which they exploit to great success. You claim you're not a Post reader, but your lack of understanding of the issue makes me wonder how different you really are from them.

I acknowledge that someone over the age of 10 can be blissfully unaware of racial bias in the media without actually sporting a Klan hood, but it's depressing to see how resistant you are to questioning your lack of insight into the matter when it's brought to your attention. You will never see how egregious it is for a major media publication to willfully ignore a segment of the population based on nothing other than skin tone, and I've grown tired of trying to point it out to you.

I don't know if it's the stubbornness of your age, the privilege of your position or a combo of the two, but any way you slice it, it stinks.
_______________________________________________

Modern Doll

2010-04-14T21:06:00.007-04:00

Modernist Dollhouses

Brighton Basement Flat
__________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Guilty Brotherhood
Spring Dresses
Design Moment
New Technology
Bad Breakup
Half Hookers
__________________________________________________

Date Rate

2010-04-11T21:29:00.004-04:00

"Shut Up Bro, She Was Ugly": Indiana U. Student Explains How to Rate Girls
"Men have been using the trusty 1-10 rating system to rate girls for what seems like centuries. Obviously a 10 is a knockout, and a 1 is something that should show up on the Discovery Channel. It's as universal as the 4.0 GPA scale or the dewy decimal system. One of my favorite things to do with my friends is to argue about what number a girl is." [...]

Rating Jackasses
1. This is the bottom of the barrel. Minimum of two Livestrong bracelets. Loud, obnoxious assholes who have to pay people to hang around them. As adults, all Ones will be convicted of exposing themselves at a playground. [...]

VID
Entourage: Rating Girls
________________________________________________

Contact the Author

2010-04-10T20:53:00.006-04:00

Why Didn't He Call?

PLEASE TYPE YOUR QUESTION OR STORY HERE
Your study is flawed because it's dependent on a.)the honesty of the male respondents, b.)their stance regarding the equality of women and c.)the perspective that it's mainly the woman's fault she didn't get a call back from the guy.

What about more insight on what the guy does to torpedo the chances of there ever being a second date?

How many men don't call back after the first date because they didn't get a blowjob like they expected? Or because they discover the woman's father is a garbage collector? Or because she yawned in the middle of one of his tiresome speeches about tax exemption laws? Or because she called him out for ogling every woman in a low-cut top in front of her? Or because she objected to him smoking in the car?

Or because she gave him the impression that she just wasn't that into him?

How about a book on the topic that's a fair and balanced look at what both men and women do to sabotage first dates?

Honestly, I'm disappointed crap like this still sells in the 21st century. Thank you for reminding me that it takes both men and women such as yourself to reinforce ass-backwards notions about a woman's place in relationships and society in general.

Keep these books coming, as I'm sure you're getting very rich capitalizing on womens' insecurities. Keep spreading the "truth" about male-female dynamics, because women around the world would like to thank you for helping to keep them in their place.

Now, where can I get myself a copy? I want to burn it.
___________________________________________________

Write a Review

2010-04-10T19:07:00.007-04:00

How to Make an Ugly Girl Pretty Flask

RATING
***** 5 Stars Excellent

I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS PRODUCT TO A FRIEND
Yes

REVIEWER NICKNAME
GFEgirl

REVIEW TITLE
Awesome gift!

REVIEW
I bought this flask as a parting gift for my ex-husband who used to beat the crap out of me. He loved it! Next, I'd like to suggest a "How to Make the Two-Timing Fucker Pay Alimony" ashtray to throw at his car window. I'll take a dozen!

ADD IMAGES TO YOUR REVIEW
ADD A CAPTION: This flask will make him huge!

ADD A VIDEO TO YOUR REVIEW

ADD A CAPTION: Jackasses Unite!

LOCATION
Reality
_________________________________________________

The Perfect Wife™

2010-04-10T18:14:00.004-04:00

Jim Carrey: Elin Was a 'Willing Participant' in Tiger's Affairs
COMMENTS
I'll never understand why Tiger would marry someone without first securing road beef privileges. This whole thing could have been avoided with a little honest conversation and understanding.

missdelite: Little-known fact: The Perfect Wife™ who loves her husband, looks good, keeps house and looks the other way while he chases tail exists on a tiny island in the Pacific populated by unicorns, leprechauns, honest politicians and bankers born with a conscience.

Perez Hilton and Ian Halperin did an Oscar-winning documentary on their existence which they refused to accept because they felt it defiled the integrity of their craft.

Demands for The Perfect Wife™ is now so great that they're being sold on The Shopping Channel by zombie Billy Mays, 1:10-1:15am, every second Thursday of every fourth leap year. Payment by delinquent credit card holders only.

Pope Ratzinger blessed this comment, so there's no need to verify its claims.
________________________________________________

Everyone Wants

2010-04-10T05:04:00.007-04:00

One Strike

2010-04-09T20:15:00.007-04:00

Chris Rock Mocks Letterman Over Marriage, Intern Sex Scandal
COMMENTS
Dave got his due - and if his wife is sticking around then that's their business. But it appears that around 1 in five married partners of either sex cheats. After browsing the internet, the statistics seem show (statistics are fickle, but you gotta start somewhere) that between 20% and 25% of married men cheat and between 15% and 19% of married women cheat, with the trends being that amongst men there is a downward trend and amongst women there is an upward trend. So, the "cheating gap" appears to be closing. What i think is missing from the discussion is that there are different degrees of cheating. While no one condones Dave's behaviour, it just feels like it's a lot less repulsive than Jesse James. Men and women who cheat because of some emotional distress in their marriage, for example the kind who find one lover who makes them feel in love again, is one thing - there isn't the arrogance there, just a lot of pain on all sides, and most of those cheaters probably did not set out with the intention of cheating. The ones who cheat just because they are horny and think they can get away with it, or feel entitled because they have lots of money or fame, is another thing - that's just plain arrogant, and betrays a complete absence love or consideration for their partner. Neither is to be condoned, but it seems like one should carry more condemnation that the other. [...]

Here's my point - A good person can make a bad choice and still be a good person, as long as they can see their mistake for what it is and try to make ammends and learn. But an asshole would only feel bad because they got caught, not because the had any remorse for what they did. And I feel like it's important to recognize the difference, otherwise people who make mistakes may be less inclined to care if they feel like it doesn't make any difference. Everyone makes mistakes, and our ability to forgive is what keeps people from continuing to make those mistakes - If you forgive someone, that person is more likely to feel an obligation to respect that act and become a better person. Granted, it doesn't always work out that way and we've all been burned, I'm sure, but I feel it's important as a society to try and recognize who is worth forgiving and who isn't. So to me, Dave's cheating is different -it doesn't seem to be borne out of pure selfishness, arrogance and thoughtlessness, but Jesse's does. Now, I am certainly willing to admit I could be wrong on both accounts, but for now I'm inclined to forgive Dave.

missdelite: No, sorry - James and Letterman are in the same boat. Neither one understands the concept of monogamy, both of them decided hurting their partner (both physically* and mentally) was worth the risk and both of them would have continued in the same vein if a third party hadn't exposed them. You do realize Letterman made it a habit of hooking up with young, attractive interns both before and after he was married, right? In fact, he hired them specifically for that reason. This isn't a man who made one "mistake" and learned from it. This is a self-entitled a-hole who used his position as a celebrity to get laid by women who'd never otherwise have given him a second glance if he were an accountant or mortician.

There's a long road to travel between feeling unhappy in a relationship and then coming to the conclusion that it's ok to philander. Cheating doesn't happen by accident. You don't just fall into another woman's vagina. It takes effort to gather contact info, make arrangements to meet and then continue to meet until the guilt kicks in, or the money runs out or you get caught. All the while, time passes and you convince yourself you have the right to do it and somehow manage to look your partner in the eye and lie about where you've been and what you've been up to over and over again. Don't you get the magnitude of this betrayal? How it makes a mockery of everything your relationship stands for? All of these steps aren't "mistakes". They're conscious acts a cheater feels justified in making. Let's face it, if there were no way in hell a cheater had a home to come back to should he be caught, he'd put more effort into working things out or get a divorce without having to cheat at all. But basically, cheating is a way to have your cake and eat it too. If relationships were governed by the "One Strike and You're Out" rule, then the concept of monogamy would be fully realized and not just some "pie-in-the-sky" notion we're taught to aspire to. End of story.

*Who knows if Letterman wore protection during any of his affairs; James most certainly didn't, according to his f-buddy McGee.
_________________________________________________

+Christian Bale vs. Tiger Woods (vid)
_________________________________________________

New Posts

2010-04-07T04:04:00.008-04:00

Chapters Indigo__Eaton Centre__[daily dose of imagery]

Abbey Lee Kershaw
Marcel Wanders
Design Moment
Sun Fei Fei
New & Improved
__________________________________________________

A Billion Miles

2010-04-05T21:43:00.006-04:00

Sometimes, the only way to avoid a toxic relationship is to switch time zones...
...by car...

...train...

...or plane...

...and even in the rain.

We Hope You'll Make it on Your Own, Kids. But We Doubt it.
COMMENTS
Can't pay for your kids college? Just do what my parents did. Don't save a dime for your kids education, and when a great aunt takes pity on your kid and sets up a trust fund to fund his education, make sure you get appointed as the trustee so you can steal the money to set up a new business. When your kid finds out about the theft, promise him that the new business will pay for his college and grad school. Then all you have to do is forge your kid's signature and have him unknowingly take on a huge pile of student loans to finance his college education while you get rich off your new business. Make sure to laugh when he brings up your promise to pay for grad school. He will only discover the loans after he gets into law school and makes his own financial aide application, and by that time the statute of limitations will have expired for your fraud and breach of trustee responsibilities. And be sure to act shocked and confused when your firstborn no longer speaks to you.

missdelite: Whoa, there's a special place in the Evil Parents Hall of Fame for those two. People will try to guilt-trip you into forgiving them cause they're your "parents", but shared DNA doesn't give anyone the right to fuck you over. Here's hoping you move on with your dignity intact and a billion miles between you and them. Physical distance doesn't erase past pain but it sure as hell helps you to face a future without their meddling ways. Works for me, anyway.
_________________________________________________

Toronto Design Week

2010-04-04T21:28:00.012-04:00

Jan.19-24, 2010

COVERAGE & RESOURCES
+Wallpaper*
+Designboom
+NOW Magazine
+Interior Design Show - review
+Interior Design Show - official site
+Come Up to My Room

Radio Canada__Science & Sons

Slob Screen__Science & Sons

Side table__Michal Maciej Bartosik

Orchid Stacking Stool__Kevin Karst

Toronto Interior Design Show 2010: Prototype

Groenart

Chair Table__Al Groen & Steve Euser

(detail)
_______________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Bill Charles Represents
Design Moment
Lyrical MCs
_______________________________________________

That Girl

2010-04-03T19:05:00.009-04:00

Lindsay Lohan, when clubs considered her a hot ticket item.

Not quite rock bottom - but close.

Are the Paparazzi Really Plotting Against Lindsay Lohan?
COMMENT
missdelite: She's become that girl guys hate fuck in back alleyways only when they're drunk/high and then deny it ever happened afterwards.

She's got less sex appeal than bald Britney and there's no way she'll land any more covers. Photoshop's good, but the one thing it can't erase is the stench of decay. Question: Where's her money coming from?

Looks to me like we're witnessing another Casey Johnson (RIP) in the making. The only thing more vile than this scene is the inevitable crocodile tears and finger pointing from her "parents" should she suffer an early demise. No one's going to hold them accountable, they'll move on to their next project and the only thing Lindsay will get is a headstone.
________________________________________________

Back Then

2010-04-01T16:29:00.012-04:00

Kate Moss__Harper's Bazaar__1994

LINKS
+The Story is IMG
+Ivan Bart - profile
+A New Look: The Next Ideal
_______________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Greg Kadel
Design Moment
WTF?
David Sims
Muffs Defined
_______________________________________________

Say Something

2010-03-31T21:39:00.004-04:00

What Did Sandra Know About This Nazi Stuff?
COMMENT
missdelite: We're confusing Sandra Bullock, the person, with Sandra Bullock™ the commodity. Her name, appearance, opinions and movies are packaged into a neat little product for us to consume, which is why her image is a key component to her success. In fact, you could say that her entire career is based on her image, just like any other celeb. Right now that image is tarnished. Isn't this obvious? If she wants people to continue to invest in her career by patronizing her movies, then she needs to come clean and reassure us that she never echoed JJ's point of view on race. She needs to distance herself from everything he represents or else it looks like the opposite is true. Yes, her silence is compromising everything she's worked so hard for. We wish to continue seeing more of Sandra Bullock™, but the longer she remains associated with the trash heap that is Jesse James, the stinkier she gets. And no, she can't just divorce him and move on without addressing the elephant in the room. She can't leave it up to the public, the media, her backers, supporters and co-workers to assume she's not a racist. Why should we? Cause she's nice? C'mon.

As for Sandra Bullock the person, who knows where her heart lies? It's none of our business and not included in the fanclub membership.
_________________________________________________

+How to Tell People They Sound Racist (vid)
_________________________________________________

Hooker Headers

2010-03-31T13:39:00.007-04:00

Call me the VITAMINE WATER of the e$corting business
A VOYEURS Dream Come True - HOT Couple and a Helping Hand
2 BUMS are BETTER then 1 ;-)
Queen Of All Freaks
CLICK ME, PICK ME!
I Love To Be Used For Pleasure
KISS ME, LICK ME, I AM YOUR TREAT. MAKE ME DO THINGS TO YOU
The day is not complete until you've relaxed with me
Wanna Pet My Kitten? :x)
I Might Be W.e.t. So C.u.m Put Your Hands Here & Find Out
Let Me UNZIP YOU And Put It In My Mouth...Service With a SMILE
I am Your Therapists Michelle Especializing In EXTREME PLEASURE
Bad Girl Needs More Then A Spanking
*OnCe*U*POP*U*CaN'T*StOp*
Im So H/O/R/N/Y I Must Get S/L/A/M/MED IM A Super S/L/U/T!!!!!
Have You Had Your MILF Today??
NEED A GREAT RIDE WATCH THESE TRIPLE DS BOUNCE LIKE A pornstar come worship my gifts
Do You Want A Real Woman Or A Little Girl If You Seek A Real Woman Hot and Sexy Too, Let's Talk!!!
STRESS?? I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT!
_________________________________________________

Fashion Victim

2010-03-31T13:27:00.007-04:00

Miley Cyrus

Half an outfit is better than none, right?

The Crappiest Outfit $15,500 Can Buy
COMMENT
missdelite: That kind of money could feed a coterie of models who'd get too fat for the clothes which would languish on the hanger then stored in a warehouse until they're reworked for next season or donated to the Salvation Army where some bum will barf on them and bump into a socialite wearing the exact same thing fresh off the runway accesorized with a Cartier watch that completes her "look" and makes all the difference between looking like a million bucks and..not
_________________________________________________

NEW POST
100 Bags
Design Moment
_________________________________________________

Granny Got Some

2010-03-31T05:58:00.005-04:00

The Birth Control in Grandma's Closet
COMMENTS
MY maternal great grandmother hid 6 gallons of moonshine in bed with her from the police during prohibition as they searched the house. She did this because they wouldn't be so uncouth to disturb a woman in bed and she got away with it. Unfortunately, she died at 29 of ovarian cancer but it sounds like they were a full 29 years.

MY maternal grandmother was a gangster moll and ran with all the bootleggers when she was a teenager during Prohibition. She later married a man, had two kids, divorced him, got knocked up by some stranger with my mom, and eventually remarried. It was only after she died and my mom hired a private detective that she discovered her real father was a married college professor.

MY mom moved to Florida with her boyfriend at 17, and was really irritated when I slept at my boyfriend's house at 19. (I'm 30 now, and I never slept with him, Mom.) It's self-delusion to help the older generation sleep at night. They know what they were up to, but they want different/better for us, so they pretend standards were higher when they were young, and try to hold us to same. Everybody's full of shit.
_________________________________________________

Look at Me

2010-03-29T06:42:00.014-04:00

"Leave Britney alone!"

Brawl at Public Aid Office Turns Into Voguing Match
COMMENTS
The entire country has become one rolling liquid tribute to belligerence, vanity, and an absence of soul waiting to be captured and then gone viral.

It gives my heart the functional equivalent of brain freeze when I eat too much ice cream too quickly.

missdelite: "..has become?" We humans have been rubbernecking since the dawn of..er..necks.

I am not so much referring to "rubbernecking," MD. It is the desire to be the object of rubbernecking and then to have that spectacle put on the web for all to see as the apotheosis of modern-day accomplishment.

missdelite: Humans seeking attention isn't anything new. One could argue that most of the shit we do in our daily life is for the purpose of validation. Think of how much stuff wouldn't get done if no one noticed us doing it.

I'm with you that there are some things that shouldn't garner attention (like violence), but for me the voguing was a charming footnote to a depressingly lame incident and I'd rather watch it on a loop than C-SPAN, any day of the week.

Also this: How many of us are afforded a wide audience to our daily accomplishments, be they great or modest? Few of us will ever see our name in a headline, win medals or be the subject of tributes, so a medium like YouTube allows Joe/Jane Nobody a platform to shine for a minute or two. Of course, it also invites the darker side because that's what we're made up of as well and there's no use denying it. I don't gravitate to those sorts of vids, but I'd rather know these impulses exist than sweep it under the rug. We can talk about "the good ol' days" as much as we want, but FYI: Norman Rockwell's world never actually existed and was just a figment of previous generations' collective imagination.

+The 10 Most-Subscribed-To YouTube Stars - Internet Celebs You've Never Heard of
+The 10 Wildest YouTube Stars
__________________________________________________

TMI

2010-03-28T23:44:00.009-04:00

+What is Foursquare?
+Ashton Kutcher, Celebrity Angel
+Facebook Status Update Leads to Burglary
+Phone Losers of America: Foursquare Stalking

___________________________________________________

NEW POST
Michael Thompson
___________________________________________________

Till Death

2010-03-28T23:06:00.005-04:00

Matt Damon Loves His Wife, But Kind of Hates the Whole Marriage Thing
COMMENT
Actually, I feel the same way, and my husband knows it. We have a preschool son and a good relationship. But it's a good thing he travels a lot, because things go a lot smoother for me sometimes when he isn't around. Living with a partner is really hard. All the day-to-day stuff of paying bills and cleaning up and raising the kid grinds down a lot of the passion that brought us together.

Maybe my ambivalence about marriage comes from the fact that this is my second time around. My ex was a violent alcoholic abuser, so my current (and last) husband is a big step up. But if something were to happen, I wouldn't try my luck a third time. And if I ended up with someone who'd never been married and wanted the chance to experience it, he would have to find someone else.

Male Duty

2010-03-27T01:10:00.006-04:00

Why did Jesse James marry Sandra Bullock?

Devil on the left, angel on the right?

Jesse James found her irresistable.

Model Behaviour: On Jesse James, Tiger Woods and Sex with "Trashy Girls"
COMMENTS
The real story is, why does a man marry someone that is completely opposite of what turns him on?

I suspect-- and that's all this is, a supposition-- that there's cultural pressure involved. A lot of us men (and Woods and James are no exceptions) get the double standard programmed into them that "Trashy girls" are fine for a good time but you must marry a "Good Girl". It almost always bites you in the ass when you realize that the woman you married just isn't doing it for you but you stay married to keep up the social obligations of Being married. The cheating is just a logical extension of trying to be someone you're not.

missdelite: The social pressure you allude to comes from the family's motivation to carry on its bloodline and name. Offspring learn from an early age that family comes first and it's up to them to continue the legacy. Lower class families feel the pressure to progress up the social ladder by "marrying up", and upper class families strive to hang on to what they have by marrying within their class. "Good girls" are marriage material because they fit within the family structure - which explains why men tend to marry women who look like their sister or a younger version of their mother - or because they represent a step up the social ladder, like Elin Nordgren. "Bad girls" are sexually available because they're conveniently delegated to a world beyond familial boundaries, where there's no chance of them upsetting its harmony (or so men think).

For reasons I've yet to grasp, many men equate their sexual needs and true, barn-burning passion with something that's "bad" and not to be pursued within the home with their wife. Granted, some men have perverse sexual leanings that most women don't understand or indulge, but others have simpler needs and look to another woman as an escape. Question is: an escape from what? Routine? The challenges of aging in a youth-oriented society? Personal failures? All of the above?

Acknowledging these factors makes me wonder where "love" fits into the equation. What do men perceive as love when it comes to choosing a life partner, considering that he's encouraged to seek her within a very select, well-defined group? What happens when a "Romeo and Juliet"-type situation occurs? Is he threatened with banishment from family gatherings if he chooses outside of his peer group? Is the threat of being ostracized enough to make him reconsider his choice? It strikes me as curious that even now, in 2010, men still (for the most part) conform to familial/social dictates in matters of romance and marriage. If love is blind, then why do potential partners conform to a set physical type?

Or is marriage just an arrangement to please a man's parents, and adultery is a way to please himself?

Sandra Bullock's Advice to Elin Nordegren: "I Would Have Kept Hitting!"
_________________________________________________

Going Green

2010-03-26T03:29:00.009-04:00

Plot: A writer partners with a con man to launder money.
Screenwriter: Douglas Coupland (Generation X)

Quote: "Actually, according to my therapist, I am a masochist. But I can break through the wall. Upgrade from being a masochist to being a doormat."

Paulo Costanzo (Road Trip, Joey, Royal Pains)

Paulo Costanzo as "Ryan"

JR Bourne (l) as "Bryce"

Steph Song as "Ming Yu"

+About
+Review
+Trailer
+Clip: Office Cruise
+Paulo Costanzo interview (vid)
________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Flickr Fave
Today's Pic

Give Me a Sign

2010-03-23T07:14:00.013-04:00

[via]
__________________________________________________

LINKS
Matthew Moinian

The Flirty Dozen

"Eastbound" t-strap heel, $89 at ninewest.com

Put Spring in Your Step
___________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Design Moment
Mad Beauty
On the Wall
Join the Club
One to Watch
Gilles Marini
___________________________________________________

Dating Tools

2010-03-22T23:43:00.003-04:00

Ugh. This guy??

The Goodbye Girl
_________________________________________________

John Q. Tweet

2010-03-22T23:33:00.006-04:00

Will celeb culture be the death of twitter?

Twitter's Coming Class War
__________________________________________________

Dear Diary...

2010-03-22T00:26:00.006-04:00

You know it's over when you stop waiting for him to call.
_________________________________________________

Bulthaup

2010-03-20T06:19:00.006-04:00

Bulthaup Relaunches Toronto Showroom
___________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Magazine Covers
Cover Shock
Design Moment
Stylish Interiors

Gawker: I Quit

2010-03-18T16:21:00.018-04:00

COMMENT
Testing..

So, the avatar only shows up now when my comment's promoted? Interesting.

Hey Gawker, grow some stones and disable my account. It's bad enough I've been denied a star after commenting here for 2+ years. It's not like I'm some incoherent, high school dropout with nothing relevant to say - or is that the point?

You know what? Fuck you.

Gawker is mediocre at best. The only time things heat up around here, is when real people fuck up in a BIG WAY, like Tiger Woods or Balloon Boy or those Jersey Shore freaks. So why don't you go out there and stir up some shit before you put everyone to sleep?

And just in case you didn't get it the first time: Fuck. You.
--------------------------------------------
UPDATE
[4:23pm]
Aannd..the avatar's back. Oh well, they should've given me a fucking star a long fucking time ago. It was insulting. They might scramble the comment, which is why I put it here. They'll probably disable the account too, but does it really matter? It's not like they ever wanted me around anyway.

At least here, my comments show up in the black, which is where they fucking belong.

missdelite's AWESOME comments on Gawker / Jezebel

UPDATE
[03.20.10]
Gawker's new EIC, Remy Stern, gave me a star. Yeah, you heard right. Ha! I guess sometimes it pays to kick up a fuss, although I certainly didn't do it with the intention of being rewarded. No, I was genuinely ticked off the other day and right now, I'm still basking in the glow of my verbal bird-flipping. Besides, it feels like I've burned a bridge and I'm not sure what I'm going to do next with my shiny little privilege. I won't stop having opinions, but I don't want to feel censured either. Has Stern put the proverbial loaded gun in the hands of a slightly reckless user? We'll see. But not right now, cause there hasn't been a new post up on that site since Friday @ 7:25pm. Where'd they all go? Oh god, I've broken Gawker already!
___________________________________________________

Tweeting Praise

2010-03-17T19:33:00.006-04:00

Girl Talk: How Men Dominate Twitter
COMMENT
You're right, I went for snark and it came out condescending. And its probably vague because I've become used to compressing my thoughts into 140 character. But I digress.

My comment was just meant to say that your sentiment had been echoed when Twitter first started to gain traction, and that time has proven the skeptics wrong. Otherwise, why would there be 10,637,661,536+ Tweets in just three years? Why has Twitter overtaken blogging for providing real time information?

Twitter is a platform for communication that has more "real world" applications than could fit in a blog comment. But I can try: Finding jobs and boyfriends, keeping up to date with friends, finding out about breaking news, keeping tabs on organizations you're interested in, finding people with common interests, engaging public figures and journalists, controlling other electronics (there are a plethora of applications that allow you to control your computer from a distance with a tweet), communicating at/during/about events using hashtags and keywords....

The list goes on and on. It's a medium, not a product. It's a means for things to happen quickly on a unified, searchable platform.

And if you think that texting is the same as using a Twitter app, then I imagine you haven't used Tweetie 2 on the iPhone (or if you have, that you're extremely hard to impress.)

Edinburgh Festival

2010-03-16T05:05:00.010-04:00

About

24 Hours at the Edinburgh Festival

+Festival Series
+Faces: Edinburgh Fringe Festival 09

[Pics: Flickr.com / Guardian.co.uk]

SHOWS
Icarus 2.0

Flhip Flhop

Sammy J in the Forest of Dreams

ACCOMODATIONS

+Hotel Missoni Edinburgh
+About
________________________________________________

NEW POST
Matt Bomer

Snark Attack

2010-03-15T08:34:00.009-04:00

I don't care if she writes her own shit, picks her own outfits or can carry a tune. She's being paid to be a spectacle - nothing more and nothing less. If that's what I wanted, I'd go see Cirque-de-freaking-Soleil.

[via]

10 Things

2010-03-14T21:00:00.007-04:00

Colette

10 Things Not to Do in Paris

Central Park

10 Things Not to Do in New York City

Chinatown

10 Things Not to Do in San Francisco

New York City on a Budget

Munich

What Not to Wear: Dress Codes Worldwide
________________________________________________

NEW POSTS
Strike a Pose
Design Moment
________________________________________________

In 2030

2010-03-13T22:29:00.018-05:00

1. Lady Gaga will be considered one of the "greats" in music history.
2. Lady Gaga will be lauded as a pioneer alongside David Bowie, Madonna and the Gloved One.
3. Lady Gaga's outfits will be auctioned for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
4. Lady Gaga memorabilia will be considered sacred relics of a bygone era.
5. Lady Gaga's music videos will be considered either a) the gold standard of the medium or b) the last great examples of the medium.
6. The "Gaga Effect" will be a major influence on females in the industry, to the point where:
7. Female pop singers will only wear crotch-baring outfits in public.
8. Female pop singers will perform nude. Their nether regions will be pixilated to everyone in the viewing audience except for those who get to see them live.
9. Female pop singers will no longer eat.
10. Female pop singers will inhale electrolytic air and boast about how full they feel after a "meal".
10. Female pop singers will no longer sing.
11. In lieu of singing, female pop singers will dance, moan, grunt, snarl, yell and throw things.
12. Female pop singers will be celebrated for their songwriting skills, which will be viewed as an example of female "empowerment" - or the 2030 equivalent thereof.
13. Female pop singers will adopt a cause and become its poster woman. They will align themselves with a marginalized group that has deep pockets and can afford their merchandise (eg. Asthmatic Albino Investment Bankers). In other words, the gorillas are fucked. (But who are we kidding? There won't be any gorillas in 2030.)
14. Female pop singers will wear product logos embedded in their nail polish, contact lenses, dental veneers and tongue. These logos will change daily.
15. Girls will emulate and idolize female pop singers. They'll deride their mother's nostalgia for the days when female pop singers cared more about fashion than nudity, sang instead of grunted and there was this one pop star called "Lady Gaga" who was like nothing anyone had ever seen before.

New Posts

2010-03-12T04:31:00.013-05:00

Front St. & Jarvis St.__Jul.09

Elm St.__Mar.10__[daily dose of imagery]

+Tyson & Noah
+Spring Fever Fashion
+Gaga Gallery
+Hold the Phone
+Gettin' Winched
+Yakuza Journo
+Monk's Saviour

LINKS
+Models' Transformations

+2010 Hot Spot It List

Snark Attack

2010-03-09T16:15:00.003-05:00

I love the James Bond-ish quality of this, and kudos for actually getting into the party.

But Rupert Murdoch?

That's like breaking out of Alcatraz, swimming across Frisco Bay, staggering up on land right in front of the Ghirardelli chocolate store, and choosing instead to lick a Hershey's Kiss wrapper you pulled from under a used condom.

Gross.

[via]

Picture This

2010-03-09T02:05:00.014-05:00

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Vanity Fair has a photo gallery online called "Power Couples". There are the Reagans, the Kennedys, Schwarzenegger and Shriver and - amongst others - Demi and Ashton. I don't think I'd qualify them as a power couple (they're not exactly a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood), but the reason I'm posting their pic is...well... look at her. The caption says that he's 32 and she's 48 but it's obvious plastic surgery, lighting, airbrushing and her submissive pose have shaved off at least 20 years from her appearance. Hell, she could even pass for 17. And it bugs the shit out of me. It's almost as if she and the photographer are trying to tell us that the last 20 years of her life never happened. Why? Why deny us a glimpse of the hard-fought battles, triumphs and heartache only time can bring? Why is it so terrible for this woman - or any woman, for that matter - to admit that even though life hasn't always been a walk in the park, she's only grown stronger and better along the way? I'll tell you why: men. Sexist, insecure men. More importantly: male sexual interest.

Allow me to explain. You see, in a circle of women, the older, more experienced woman has the authority. Her words carry weight and as a result, other women listen to her (whether they like it or not). In a circle of men, the opposite is true. The youngest, prettiest woman holds sway and captures their attention. If there's an older woman present, she's seen as "one of the guys" and - for better or worse - can't use her sexuality as an instrument of influence. She can try, but runs the risk of a blunt refusal and being labeled a "crazy bitch". Male sexual interest is the reason transitioning between young and old is hell for a lot of women because they inevitably discover that they can no longer rely on it to pave their way in life. And for the record, any woman who denies she's received benefits over the years due to said interest, is either a bold faced liar, ignorant beyond belief or never tapped into her sexuality to begin with.

Demi takes this dynamic between men and aging, sexually attractive women and magnifies it a million fold. She's spent thousands of dollars staving off looking her age and will continue to do so for as long as her face and body will allow it. By dating and marrying Ashton, she's fully embraced the Young Hollywood Beauty lifestyle, thereby keeping herself in the loop and still relevant in a brutally ageist environment. Because of this, she's still considered a celebrity although ironically, as an actress, she doesn't get any roles. The sad fact is, writers, directors and producers (most of whom are men) don't know what to do with a sexually attractive 48-year-old woman. When it comes to older women, sex and the movies, the best they can do is produce comedies like "It's Complicated" with Meryl Streep or "Something's Gotta Give" with Diane Keaton. Older women and sex are fucking hilarious, aren't they? Heaven forbid should someone write a mature portrayal of a hot 48-year-old woman in a compelling relationship with a man of comparable strength and weakness. Relationships are a breeding ground for dramatic material: the breakups and makeups; the backstabbing, misunderstandings and lies; meddlesome families, friends and co-workers - it's a writer's bacchanalian feast for the senses. But no one's doing it on a grand, cinematic scale. Instead we get the same tired period pieces, war dramas and - yawn - animated fairy tales. The men of Hollywood avoid producing stories about mature, exciting women like they avoid period talk. And they find the topic of these women's experiences just as distasteful. They see absolutely no value in these types of stories, seek almost zero input from women on the creative front and use the big screen as their own personal playground. Fuck women. What do they know about movies, anyway?

The only glimmer of hope I see as far as interesting roles for mature women on screen are concerned, is the TV show "The Good Wife". It's the only program that qualifies as a "must see" for me and I actually look forward to seeing it Tuesday nights. It's been consistently good on every front, doesn't belittle any of the characters and it doesn't bore me to tears. The only thing I'm waiting for is the moment Alicia (played by Julianna Margulies) tells her estranged husband (played by Chris Noth) to go to hell and really mean it. After all the crap he's pulled, she's yet to have her cathartic moment and I know as an actress, Julianna can deliver the goods. I hope the writers don't wuss out and deny her the opportunity. After all, who doesn't want to see a philanderer - even a fictional one - taken down a notch or two? Besides actual philanderers, of course. I know I do, and this is the show to do it.

["The Good Wife" was created and produced by husband and wife team Robert and Michelle King. Joining them as producers are Tony and Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Thelma and Louise, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down) and David Zucker.]

+Why Do People Keep Getting Plastic Surgery?
+'ER' Veteran Tries Life as a Politician's 'Good Wife'
+Ridley Scott - bio

This is close as you're going to get to the "real" Demi Moore.

Also from Vanity Fair's "Power Couples": Amy Poehler and Will Arnett in a fun take on classic Hollywood roles.
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Oscar Buzzzzzz...

2010-03-07T22:39:00.010-05:00

I'd rather watch this guy than the fucking Oscars. Hell, I'd rather watch Oscars fucking than the fucking Oscars.

Holy mac-n-cheese, the Oscars is sooooo boooorrrinnngggg! How do they manage to out-drone themselves every year? Granted, I haven't seen any of the movies. Do you wanna know why? Cause they're boring! Not a "must-see" in the bunch! How is it I've been brainwashed into thinking this show is still relevant? I don't care about a single one of these actors, directors, producers, make up artists...boring! Right now, I've the TV on mute cause the endless parade of nobodies and way-too-familiar faces I've seen way-too-many times were depressing the hell out of me. Animated Short?? Who gives a fuck about this, besides the two guys who edited the damn thing in their basement and their goddamned mothers? I'm going to switch over to Nip/Tuck and find out what I missed tomorrow. Fuck it. Life's too short for this shit.

Here's a drinking game: Imbibe a shot of your favourite beverage every time you spot a guy over 40 wearing a girdle (*whisper* Alec Baldwin), a statuesque starlet in a silver gown that matches the set design (Gabourey didn't get the memo), a not-so-blond starlet with her dark roots showing (sweet jeebus, bishes - don't you make enough to get a touch-up?) and every time you curse yourself for sitting through another chapter of this geriatric juggernaut as it labours and wheezes under the weight of its self-congratulatory, ass-licking, back-stabbing, fake-Botox-grinning, millions-flushed-down-the-crapper attempt to pilfer more money out of your pocket.

Aren't you drunk yet??

That's ok, you've still got plenty of time.

UPDATE
[11:43pm]
Oh look, Jeff Bridges just won. Umm..woohoo? I've nothing against the guy - I've enjoyed him in several movies and somehow he's managed to keep the gossip hounds out of his face - but what was he in again? Yeah, thought so.

Disposable Affair

2010-03-07T15:15:00.005-05:00

It's biodegradable!

As it turns out, Mr.Kamikaze is ok. He's been travelling around Africa and supposedly coming home today or tomorrow. Huh. Thing is, I completely forgot my place in this situation and didn't realise that when a client sends "I miss you" messages every other day, and then disappears for a week without contact, it doesn't actually mean anything. I'm not supposed to be concerned. Heaven forbid I actually have an emotion. No, no, no. That's not allowed. I'm hired to turn it on when he wants it, and turn it off when he doesn't. Never mind that I'm actually a human being first, and an escort second. Humans are messy; escorts are efficient. That's why they call us pros. My mistake, and believe me, it won't happen again.

Now you know why women in this business get jaded. I thought it couldn't happen to me, and yet here I am.

Where is He?

2010-03-05T20:45:00.006-05:00

Damn you, Icarus. Don't you know those wings are made of wax??

Mr. Kamikaze has disappeared. I haven't heard from him in a week and I've no clue what's happened. This, after several weeks of exchanging "I miss you" texts and emails.

He ran into a spot of trouble in Africa, which I won't elaborate on cause it's no one's business, but immediately after giving me the news, his messages stopped and he hasn't been responding to mine. Actually, he might be on his way back home right now to sort things out, but I really don't know.

Some men get funny when they run into difficulty. They shut down and don't let anyone in for fear of looking weak and stupid. I can only assume he's cut me off for this reason - cause like I said - he's not talking to me.

If, however, he's in jail or has been captured by pirates, he'll have a series of increasingly despondent texts and emails to come home to.

At this point, I've pretty much written off the notion of ever seeing him again.

Of course...he could be dead. That, too, is a possibility.

Vegas,Baby!

2010-03-05T02:38:00.024-05:00

Top 10 Sex Symbols of Las Vegas

+Jack Colton, "Mayor of Las Vegas"
+32 Most Beautiful People in Las Vegas

Surviving Vegas Nightlife

What Hosts and VIP Hosts Actually Do in Las Vegas

What to Wear to a Las Vegas Nightclub

The Most Expensive Las Vegas Hotel Rooms

The Hard Rock Hotel Pool Suites

Nobu

+Nobu review
+Extravagance Unleashed
+The Lotus and the Lever
+Where to Eat and Stay in Las Vegas

Joël Robuchon review

Newport Lofts LV

+Vegas Condo Scene
Aaron Auxier recently received national press for setting the top-three residential price-per-square-foot records in the history of Las Vegas by selling multiple penthouses to clients 'in the music biz'. [VIPGolfVacation.com]

+CityCenter Interactive Guide
+CityCenter details (vid)
+ARIA Resort and Casino ad (vid)
+Louis Vuitton at CityCenter (vid)

+Luxury Las Vegas magazine
+Closet Confidential
+The Spa at One Queensridge Place

Las Vegas photo gallery

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS...
+High Rollers Bring Baccarat Boom to Las Vegas
+High Roller Suites (slideshow)
+Debt Topples Las Vegas High Roller
+Las Vegas Caters to Asia's High Rollers

+Sarah Larson's Sin City Secrets
+"GayGamer Eat Your Heart Out"
+Fave Vegas Moments
+10 Things Not to Do in Las Vegas

+The Palomino
+About
+Sunset at the Palomino

Vegas Retro

The Movable Buffet - blog
To me, the key to covering Vegas is to know when to leave the party and get back to work. More than that, as a writer, I also try to always remember that I am not actually an invited guest to this party (metaphorically or literally) that is Vegas, but rather am a paid observer of the town's business model: sell the world on a place with a manufactured and marketed permanent party where regular rules of etiquette and in some cases law do not apply. And, at core, that invention of Vegas, that image, collectively is Sin City. [...]

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NEW POSTS
Design Moment
Design Moment
Felix Cane
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Oscar Buzzzzzz...

2010-03-04T14:56:00.006-05:00

Ever wonder why the Oscars is such a snoozefest? Check this out: Sacha Baron Cohen Pulls Out of Oscar Ceremony - Because of James Cameron?
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Today's Tip

2010-03-02T23:59:00.014-05:00

Sunflower sprouts

Eat your greens.

Admit it. You don't like to eat greens, do you? Most of us don't. Did you really think the lettuce in the double-decker cheeseburger you had last night counts? It doesn't. I, myself, used to subsist on a lot of take out and frozen dinners. I used to joke about how salt, fat and sugar were the three most important food groups. Believe me, I ate enough of that stuff to kill a horse (ok, maybe a small dog). Then, I got hit with a godawful food allergy (gluten) and now I have to watch what I eat. I know that for most people, fresh greens are an acquired taste if they aren't slathered in cheese, salty/sweet sauces or accompanied by something that used to have a heartbeat. I used to feel the same way. I won't lie, greens are bland/bitter as hell and it takes a while to grow accustomed to eating them relatively unadorned. Also, most of us - including high end restauranteurs - don't know how to prepare them in an interesting manner while retaining their nutritional value. Biggest mistake we make is oversalting or - *gasp* - overcooking them. There's nothing worse than a plate of limp, grey broccoli or asparagus. If you grew up on that shit, it's hard to get past it as an adult.

Still, you have to try. No other type of food quite matches greens in terms of the benefits they afford, and they act as a natural buffer between disease and health. Think of them as the world's cheapest pharmaceuticals. Yes, I know they're a pain in the ass to prepare, especially if you're busy, lazy or suffer from a deficit of culinary skills. How come grocers don't get that not everyone needs 5 lbs of kale in one shot? Even if you like the occasional salad, most of us have lettuce wilting in the fridge right now. This is why the true purpose of this post is to introduce you to the wonderful world of sprouts.

Don't give me that face. Sprouts are awesome. They're nutrient dense like dark, leafy greens (kale, mustard, collard etc.) but they're not as bitter and don't require cooking which means they retain all of the beneficial enzymes that aid in digestion. If you buy them fresh, they'll keep up to two weeks in the fridge and you can grab a handful of them whenever you want. If you're really dedicated to eating well, you can take a bunch to work in a Ziploc bag and toss them into a pre-made soup, salad or sandwich (lunch spots usually only carry brownish alfalfa that's way past its prime). I haven't tried them all, but my faves so far are garlic, onion, pea and sunflower. Sunflower sprouts are mild with a hint of sunflower seed flavour, aren't prone to mold like some of the other, more densely-packed varieties aaand are 300 times more nutritous than spinach. How about that? One day - when my inner Martha finally wakes up - I'll grow my own, but for now I buy mine at Whole Foods. Some guy named "Uncle George" grows them, clips them and packages them for me; I trust he knows what he's doing.

In conclusion, eat the damned sprouts. They play well with others, so that even though you may think they don't taste as good as a burger, they taste great in a burger. See how that works? Now let's talk about organic beef and ethical animal rearing practices...

+Types of Sprouts
+How to Grow Sunflower Sprouts
+Secret Super Foods
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NEW POST
Paul Walker
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