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THE HAZELTON HOTEL
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BACK in October, an acquaintance (not a client) of mine treated me to an overnight stay at The Hazelton Hotel. Located in my Yorkville neighbourhood, I watched this baby go from scaffolded exterior 4 years ago to celeb hot spot during the annual film festival without so much as an offer for a drink at the bar. Bitter? Maybe a little. I'd pass by it at least once a week on my way to Whole Foods next door, glance through the lightly-shrouded floor-to-ceiling glass windows of its in-house restaurant, ONE, and feel a tinge of envy. I chalked up my exclusion to a matter of clientele: the hotel caters to an older, wealthier subset of the population that guards its privacy with fierce determination. Still, I knew it'd be just a matter of time before one of them broke ranks and invited me in. Finally, I got to see for myself what all the fuss was about...
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The doors pictured above led onto a small balcony which faced the stunning view of a...brick wall. Not good. Of course, this can't be helped because there's a reputable art gallery next door, but it can be ameliorated. How about an original mosaic on said wall to give breakfast patio dwellers something to look at? Or a row of skinny poplar trees? Ok, birds from the trees might crap all over the balcony, but my point is that just about anything would be better than a frickin brick wall. Hell, cut a giant window in the wall and I'll watch the gallery patrons go about their business. I'm not fussy for visual entertainment and it would make the best of an unacceptable situation.
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SO, how would I rate my stay at The Hazelton Hotel? Well for me, a good hotel has a comfortable bed, clean bathroom and friendly service. A four star hotel provides all of these things with style and has good food to boot. A five star hotel goes above and beyond the call of duty, as in "your every wish is our command", plus has an interior design that's so freaking gorgeous you don't dare touch anything for fear of ruining it. In fact, if you can't afford to replace any of the items in a five star hotel, then you probably don't belong there. Having said that, I give The Hazelton Hotel a solid 3.5 stars. It's quaint, hushed and discreet, but it isn't a five star hotel as they claim it to be - not when you've the Four Seasons Hotel: New York (the gold standard of five star hotels) - as a comparison. To be honest, I don't know if a boutique hotel should be able to make this claim alongside the big names in the business; they're simply not offering a comparable experience. No, I expect a good boutique hotel to have a comfortable, homey feel and a lively, neighbourhood bar/restaurant scene, but I don't expect it to blow my mind. On that score, The Hazelton almost gets it right.
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MUSINGS OF A LATE NIGHT BLOGGER
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RECENTLY, my eye was caught by this HDTV which is about 85" and sells for around $45,000 (I had to ask). The old guy working the floor showed me an even bigger model in the back room that was 100+" and retailed for around 80Gs. I don't know what impressed/galled me more: the enormity of the things or the size of the houses I imagined they'd fit into. When 3D TVs hit the marketplace, what will happen to these models? Will people discard them like really expensive - but no longer desirable - toys? Do I even want to think about the kind of havoc this level of consumerism wreaks upon the planet? No, I don't, cause I know that even though I recycle and don't litter and try not to waste anything, I'll never in a million years be able to offset the carbon footprint of one giant HDTV. Why should I? I do what I do because it feels right, but I hate when companies and individuals try to guilt-trip me into doing more. Let's face it: we're not getting any better. This sphere we inhabit is continuing its rapid decline and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Why not enjoy the ride while it lasts? And please don't say "do it for the children" cause I don't want any and I don't owe anyone else's kids anything. Quite frankly, I think bringing a child into the world at this stage of the game is downright cruel. Who knows if we'll even have potable water in 50 years? By that time (if not sooner), I hope to be drawing my last breath without a care in the world. But if it makes environmentalists feel any better, I'd wish to be cremated and my ashes scattered in a community garden, cause you know, that would be responsible.
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Cheyenne Jackson