Fucking Losers

I thought frosted tips went out with the Sony Walkman.

Gawker.com has brought to my attention the awesomeness that is Nik Richie. I tried to post a comment there but I'm having a hard time accessing the stream. Thank god I have a blog for just such an occasion. I wish to preserve this comment for eternity cause goshdarnit, it's a beaut. Behold, my no-holds-barred opinion of this gift to humanity...

missdelite: OMG, where's this hunk of man meat been hiding? His physique reduces me to a puddle of drool. It's like I'm drowning in my own desire! His look is so effin hot: 1 part sleazeball club promoter to 2 parts pet serial killer, slathered in Vegas used car salesman smarm. I bet he's got sweaty palms, rank breath & skid marks on the tighty whities his mom still buys him for Christmas. Swoon! Dare I speculate on his prowess in the bedroom? I do! I'd climb his pole & plant the flag if it weren't for the 'Monogamous Adonis' vibe he oozes from every pore. Siiiigh. WHY, dear god, are all the good ones taken??

Thing is, this jackass doesn't realize he's being USED by a culture of male resentment which is sacrificing his reputation at the altar of their chauvinism. The men who patronize his site wouldn't dare utter those cheap shots in a mixed, public arena where women are actually physically present, but thank bejeezus Hamoon Karamian exists to represent their insecurities & give them a place to vent. He's like the runty little dick in every group of male friends who they beat up on in a passive-aggressive, jokey sort of way. Where would these guys be without TheDirty? That's easy! Drinking, snorting & fucking their lives into oblivion amongst a tight group of friends while complaining about how their women are bleeding them dry. Oh but wait - that still goes on! Only now, they get to commiserate with millions of anonymous cowards online. It's like an army of whiny roaches high-fiving their way to a colostomy bag & an ever-dwindling retirement package. Score! Where do I sign up to suck the crotch sweat off their limp whiskey dicks while crying tears of gratitude for their convenient hospitality? I mean, I'm just begging to be used, right?



The Man Behind TheDirty.com Is Just As Awful In Person
The Man Behind TheDirty.com Is Still A Self-Aggrandizing Dick