I ♥ Geeks

Oh, baby...

Jon: Is this the easiest dance for pear-shaped white guys such as ourselves?

This jacket? I believe it's J. Crew, but don't quote me on that.

Hey handsome, where're we going tonight?

Caught Paul Rudd on the Daily Show couple weeks ago & he was so adorably cute & charming. His goofy dance made me laugh out loud - funniest thing ever. When we women say we like a guy with a sense of humour, he's a fine example of what we're talking about. Dude seems so laid back & unaware of his own sex appeal & that makes him even hotter in our eyes. And when we say that all the good ones are taken, we're talking about guys like him.

STATS: He's 39, married & Jewish__Breakout performance: Clueless (1995)__Played Phoebe's boyfriend, Mike Hannigan on Friends (2004)__Bunch of other stuff here: Wikipedia

Paul's sexy dance
You sexy thing
Mike Hannigan on Friends

Papermag feature
He thinks his clothes came from Banana Republic, but then adds, "I actually like J. Crew more. I like preppy a lot." That said, he's also a bona-fide Synth-Pop, New-Wave, New-Romantic music nerd. Get him started on Depeche Mode or Yaz and before you know it, he's rolling off names like Ultravox, Feargal Sharkey and Aztec Camera. It's this casual dorkiness, a sort of anti-larger-than-life-ness, that makes Rudd impossibly charming, and it's also one of the magical qualities that make audiences empathize with the characters he plays even when they are surly.





Came across my horoscope today. It's a month old but still apt:

When the planet Uranus comes into play, as it is now, it's a good time to initiate experiments that will expedite the arrival of future blessings. Pushing beyond comforting habits, you thrive by going in quest of bracing truths, unfashionable beauty & wild justice. The symbolic nature of Saturn is different. It invites you to creatively limit & discipline yourself so that fate isn't forced to limit & discipline you in unpleasant ways. It so happens, Virgo, that Uranus & Saturn are now poised in opposition to each other. Will they work at cross-purposes, spawning a sticky mess? Or is there a way for you to get them to work together? More than you imagine, you have the power to affect how they interact in your personal sphere.

Rob Brezsny's Freewill Astrology
Top 10 Reasons You're an...


Recent Finds

My fall shopping bag
$55.00 @ that handbag boutique (whatsitsname), Hudson's Bay Centre

2009 Art of Modern Rock Poster Explosion calendar
$18.99 @ Sonic Boom - Art of Modern Rock

Calendar's back cover shows some of the juicy prints inside

Speedball poster by Glenn Barr (1997) I display propped on my red ottoman

Thongs in a striking array of colourful graphic prints
5 for $35.00 @ Jacob

Pinwheel hat
$24.50 @ The Bay

Love the graphic on this bag, now being used for laundry
Sunrise Records - Blue Q

Sunrise Records
Yonge St., south of Bloor - I like them for their pop culture kitsch & cheap(er) CDs


The $2000/Hour Hooker

Barbara Bach (Bond girl c.1977)

Natalie McLennan

When I say "$2000/hr hooker", you probably think of someone who looks like 1970s actress Barbara Bach & not politician's wife stand-in Natalie McLennan, right? I know I do.

What people don't understand is that there's a lot more that goes into being a high-end hooker than looking good in a tight skirt.

With this in mind, I've come up with a list of HIGH-END HOOKER DOS based on almost pure speculation:

>Be on time
>Meet him sober
>Avoid awkward/stressful situations & long periods of silence
>Avoid showing irritation at anything he says/does
>Avoid showing boredom/impatience
>Avoid feeling jealous, resentful &/or possesive at all costs
>Avoid nitpicking, nagging & complaining at all costs
>Avoid talking about your job to your family, friends & associates (the fewer people who know the better)
>Avoid showing your face in online ads/video if it'll compromise your reputation
>Make sure your photos, ads & personal website (if you're an independent) are of a standard conducive to the type of client you want to attract (ie. high-quality, professional & tastefully seductive)
>Put effort into the tone of the text in your ads & website - some men actually read it & get turned on if it's done right
>Be charming/sunny/lighthearted
>Have a mild sense of humour
>Laugh gently at his jokes
>Speak at a reasonable volume (not too loud/soft)
>Speak & write English well
>Be reasonably educated on general topics
>Admire his accomplishments
>Appear to be interested in everything he says/does
>Appear to be appreciative of everything he does for you
>Make him your number one priority/put his needs ahead of your own while you're with him
>Remember his name, what he does & his major interests in/outside of the bedroom
>Let him lead/take charge (unless he likes to be dominated)
>Be reasonably lenient with the allotted time if he's a regular
>Keep all the gifts, mementos etc. he's given you for as long as he's your client
>Put nervous clients/first-timers at their ease
>Get up before noon (unless you're "entertaining")
>Morning sessions
>Keep the phone on, 8am-2am
>Avoid answering the phone when you're with a client
>Avoid booking calls in front of other people
>Be discreet - keep to yourself everything that goes on between you & the client
>Know how to engage in light conversation
>Know when to stop talking
>Be a good listener
>Avoid talking about your past & his personal life (if it can be helped)
>Avoid soliciting advice, especially financial
>Avoid asking him for favours
>Be familiar with current newsworthy events
>Avoid talking about politics (unless solicited), voicing strong opinions & contradicting him on anything
>Express compassion for those less fortunate than you - show that you've a charitable heart
>Charm his friends/associates
>Shave/groom meticulously (not in front of him unless it's requested)
>Avoid going to the bathroom in front of him (unless it's requested)
>Avoid talking about your period & period sex - unless he's into it - or you manage to keep it from him by wearing a sponge/cup that prevents leakage
>Be manicured/pedicured
>Smell nice
>Ensure your body is free of obvious tattoos, piercings, bruises & scars
>Keep healthy
>Believe you're the hottest woman he's ever been with
>Own several tasteful outfits (for day), slutty/sleazy outfits & expensive lingerie (for private), formal wear (for functions) & resort wear (including lots of sexy swimsuits) for tropical getaways
>Own racks of high heels in a variety of styles (modest to kinky)
>Wear tastefully-applied makeup
>Avoid getting makeup on his clothes
>Wear a light scent unless you know he'll be seeing his SO (significant other) afterward
>Wear jewelry to suit the occasion
>Avoid leaving evidence of your presence at his place (e.g. condom wrappers) if he lives with someone
>Avoid going out looking disheveled & unkempt just in case he or an associate of his sees you
>Have great taste in everything
>Act classy
>Accept compliments graciously
>Be familiar with high culture (opera, ballet, classical music etc.)
>Know all the hot spots (restos, bars, clubs) & major sites/attractions in your vicinity
>Have impeccable table manners & proper dining room etiquette
>Have connections/be able to procure tickets to anything
>Act like his date at social functions
>Know a second, possibly third language (not always a deal breaker but it could be an asset)
>Appear to be aspirational, i.e. have a day job/degree/be a student
>Respond to endless horny text messages/emails
>Talk dirty
>Kiss (including french)
>Know several sex positions (the more the better)
>Moan & orgasm in a convincing manner
>Know how to do a seductive striptease
>Know how to do a proper massage
>Be ready to fuck anytime, anywhere
>Own lots of toys (vibes, dildos etc.), lubes, oils, condoms, costumes, clean sheets & towels, room sprays, pornos, tasteful music, alcohol & other beverages
>Keep your place clean, neat & smelling nice
>Have a good security system, screen calls & clients
>Trust your intuition re: skeevy clients/situations (avoid them)
>Own a strap-on & know how to use it
>Massage his prostate/stick a finger up his butt if requested
>Be well-versed in light bondage, S&M & domination techniques
>Avoid giving/receiving hickeys
>Avoid being spanked hard enough to leave a mark, bruise or welt
>Be open to facials (not the spa kind), anal sex/"greek", bareback sex, bareback oral sex, fisting, golden showers & other kinky sex acts (refusing to do these things isn't always a deal breaker but at $2000/hr, he might expect it)
>Know other hookers for impromtu 3somes, 4somes etc.
>Like to eat pussy/be with women, including his wife/girlfriend if requested
>Be open to fucking his friends/associates including 3somes etc. involving him & said friend(s)
>Be prepared for sessions that don't involve sexual intercourse (sometimes he may just want to chat, kiss, cuddle & oral)
>Move heaven & earth to help him orgasm if he's having "difficulty"
>Honour his requests no matter how perverse unless it really makes you queasy in which case you can try to gently steer him in another direction keeping in mind that this may be a deal breaker & if it is, you'll probably lose him as a client & heaven forbid, he may complain to your booker/agency owner &/or write a lousy online review that compromises your career
>Avoid reading online reviews if you can't handle criticism & inaccuracies
>Allow him to take sexy pics/vids of your body (not your face)
>Coke (not always a deal breaker but girls who "like to party" do longer calls)
>Drink alcohol (not excessively)
>Tolerate his smoking habit (if you're a non-smoker)
>Have a nice car at the ready
>Be ready to travel anywhere at a moment's notice
>Bump him to the front of the line if he's worth hanging on to
>Let him believe you're half in love with him or at the very least, that you like him a lot


I ♥ Geeks

Jon Favreau
chief Obama campaign speechwriter

STATS: He's 27, single & motivated: "Favreau told him about the social service project he started in Worcester, defending the legal rights of welfare recipients as the state tried to move people off the rolls and into work." -Newsweek (Jan.08)

NY Times Feature




Le Pain Quotidien - just opened in Sept.

finn - love the light fixture

Y5 - I wouldn't wear it but it looks interesting in this light

Y5 - this jacket has a unique front

Yorkville Fire Hall - they make for noisey neighbours

Lovecraft - selling dildos in Yorkville since 1972

Four Seasons Hotel & Private Residences - slated for completion by 2011

Pusateri's - high-end gourmet foods store & cafe

The Regency Yorkville - this soon-to-be-completed building has condos priced $2.5 to 6 mil

The Regency Yorkville - the foyer

True - new resto (opened this summer) aims to be all-organic

True - all-white interior looks great from the outside

80 Yorkville - part of a new luxury retail & residential complex

80 Yorkville

100 Yorkville - the historical facade belongs to the old Mount Sinai Hospital

Dolce - enquired about a leather jacket here which was $800 & kinda tacky up close

Gabbana - chandelier makes a great focal point


Muti & Company - they sell colourful Italian ceramics

Muti & Company

Impressions Art Gallery

Vivian Shyu

Betsey Johnson

Betsey Johnson

Hollander York Gallery

Ima Gallery

Flow Restaurant & Lounge


The Hazelton Hotel - just opened Sept.07

The Hazelton Hotel - is it the most expensive hotel in Toronto?

The Hazelton Hotel

5 Hazelton Men

5 Hazelton Men

5 Hazelton Men

Hazelton Ave. boutiques

Gallery Gevik

Miriam Shiell Fine Art - cool inflatable horse attached to air vent

Miriam Shiell Fine Art

Miriam Shiell Fine Art

Bra Bar Boutique


Loch Gallery

Loch Gallery

George C - favoured by fashionistas

George C - what's with the shag carpeting as outerwear?

White - a bridal boutique


Teatro Verde - my favourite store in the whole wide world

Teatro Verde - smells like flowers in there (they do arrangements too)

Teatro Verde - if I could own/work in a store, this would be it

Teatro Verde - gorgeous!

TNT - stands for "The New Trend"


TNT - love the sequin detail on this dress

Love & Money - blouse ruffles are in this fall season

Whole Foods - decorated for the Summer Olympics

Whole Foods - plastic-wrapped tangerines???

Whole Foods - cute label ;p



Corbo Studio

Avec Plaisir

Boss Woman



Luxury has found a permanent home in this nabe, which was a village in the 1800s, an epicentre of hippie culture in the 60s and now currently transforming itself into a prime destination for the world's moneyed minority. Who's buying all those newly-built condos? According to a Toronto Life article I read recently, a lot of the square footage is being snapped up by Iranians, Russians, South Koreans & Brits. Go figure. As to who has bought/will buy Canada's most expensive condo offered by The Four Seasons Private Residences for $30 mil (@9000 sq ft) - well, your guess is as good as mine.

Of course, as the economy reels & roils under years of bad spending & lending, I wonder if that'll slow down Toronto's construction boom at all, particularly in this "mini Monaco" (I just coined that phrase, unless someone's beat me to it). Only time will tell, I suppose.

I pass through Yorkville at least twice a week on my way to Whole Foods, my one-stop grocery store. They've everything I need & the staff is friendly & unpretentious - exactly the opposite of what you might expect in this neighbourhood. Yes, some of their stuff is overpriced & the veggies & fruit aren't always the best (is it too much to ask that the cilantro not be waterlogged & rotting away?) but at least you won't find an ingredient list with the word "artificial" in it.

I don't shop anywhere else in Yorkville for obvious reasons. Hello, I'm not rich but I wish I had the monetary means to pick up a lovely painting or frequent the beautiful, eclectic Teatro Verde if I wanted to. In there they've wonderful coffeetable books, soaps, planters, travel guides, room sprays, cushions, furniture, humourous conversation pieces etc. etc. And it's all so damn expensive. Makes me weep (on the inside). Did I also mention it smells like heaven? Well it does.

I just remembered, I also occasionally stop by Pure + simple on Bellair St., just off of Yorkville Ave. for moisturizer & lipstick. This location has a teeny-tiny storefront where they sell their mostly all-natural beauty products & a spa in the back. It also smells really nice in there.
Hey business owners, here's a tip: Don't underestimate the power of a nice-smelling establishment. There's nothing worse than a funky-smelling store, am I right? It doesn't encourage lingering & the merch gets tainted with the funk too. I speak from experience.

The other day, I had the Beef Carpaccio (takeout) from True. It was ok - nothing spectacular. I should be grateful that it was fresh & didn't make me sick, considering it's raw meat, which I didn't realize until it arrived on my doorstep. No wonder it took only 20 min. to deliver! I couldn't finish it due to plain, unbridled fear but the little bit I did eat did wonders for my vitamin B12 & iron deficiencies, by-products of 6 months of vegan dieting.

I've been to Flow once. It was nice, in a cool ice-blue, futuristic-looking sort of way. At least the lower lounge space was, where I shared a drink with an acquaintance. We didn't stay long because he started to hyperventilate over some misplaced files. I don't miss him.

As for Pusateri's, yeah I've been a few times to this crowded little enclave of morbidly expensive imported gourmet food stuff. Never again will I pay $3.71 for a miniscule 40g bag of Tyrell's root chips. No junk food habit is worth that kind of fix, although I really want to try their large bag of parsnip chips. What could that possibly cost? $7??? Might as well buy the raw parsnips for a couple of bucks & do it myself. But I don't want to. So I'll wait until having those chips is worth more to me than paying my rent. It's about priorities, yes?

This concludes my take on the soon-to-be-richer-than-God neighbourhood of Yorkville. It's an exciting & demented age we live in & no doubt Yorkville will reflect this over the years to come. But I'll be honest: I want a piece of the Yorkville pie. I don't know how to get it or if it's even remotely possible, however I can't stop thinking about it. Is it straight-up, raw materialism running through my veins? No, there's more to me than that. I just don't feel like the big leagues can count me out of the running yet. I mean, who knows where I'm headed? I sure as hell don't.
For now though, it's all a pipe dream & The Regency will have to wait.


Wikipedia's Yorkville

boldts.net's Yorkville

From Hippies to Highrises

$30 Million Penthouse

Groundbreaking Ceremony

Impressions Art Gallery

Hollander York Gallery

Ima Gallery

Gallery Gevik

Miriam Shiell Fine Art

Loch Gallery

Mira Godard Gallery

George C

Corbo Studio


More Yorkville-related LINKS >>>