12/28/2009

You're Not 25

The other night, I had a conversation marathon with the chatty, accident-prone Mr. Kamikaze, who happens to be 12 years my senior. He mentioned the 70s TV show Hawaii Five-O and I immediately got a visual of the opening sequence: tanned guy on surf board riding a huge wave and the lead actor, Jack Lord, in a form-fitting grey suit. I sang the theme song to him - something I hadn't thought about in eons - after which he declared, "You're not 25". Oops, busted! No, I'm not, but thanks to genetics / a relatively stress-free lifestyle / an aversion to sunbathing, I can get away with claiming that I am. Pop culture, however, betrays me every time. Music, TV, movies - my fondest memories are rooted in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and I'm not ashamed to admit that, but I'm extremely wary of betraying a number upon which so many stupid assumptions are based, especially for women. Sad, but true. The convo got me thinking, though, about all of the 70s TV theme songs I remember, and as I combed through them on YouTube, I realized that damn, there were a lot of good shows on when I was a kid and that I was a witness to an era of TV writing that will never, ever be repeated. I believe reality TV has ruined - or at least altered - that part of the TV experience for good. Also, it struck me that there was an abundance of funny ass sitcoms that put shows like How I Met Your Mother to shame. Sitcoms like M.A.S.H. and All in the Family that said something worth thinking about while delivering the laughs. And then there was Three's Company, a toxic pleasure that rotted my brain to the point where, one day, I actually blurted out to my mom that I wished I were a blonde - a feat a million bottles of Clairol and skin-bleaching agents couldn't possibly accomplish. Some dreams are just meant to die, but great theme songs live on forever - until the Alzheimers kicks in, that is.

And so, I'm going to take a trip back in time to when bell bottom pants and platform shoes were a fashion statement and not a punchline. It's worth noting that I didn't grow up watching the Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family or countless other shows because guess who dictated my viewing habits? My parents, of course, so this list is as much a reflection of their taste as it is of mine.

Hawaii Five-O is an American television series that starred Jack Lord in the lead role for a fictional Hawaii state police department. The show ran for 12 seasons, from 1968 to 1980.


Book 'em, Danno!



The Mary Tyler Moore Show was a television breakthrough, with the first never-married, independent career woman as the central character: "As Mary Richards, a single woman in her thirties, Moore presented a character different from other single TV women of the time. She was not widowed or divorced or seeking a man to support her."

Mary Tyler Moore Season 5 on DVD!
For fans of the show, it’s been a long road between season four and this one, and now it looks like the final brilliant seasons are finally going to be released...it’s a dream cast, and the writing in this season is peerless.


LOVE IS ALL AROUND by Pat Williams
Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all



Season 1 opening theme

Welcome Back, Kotter starred comedian Gabe Kaplan as the title character Gabe Kotter, a wise-cracking teacher who returns to his high school alma mater—the fictional James Buchanan High in Brooklyn, New York—to teach an often unruly group of remedial wiseguys known as the "Sweathogs."

Most of the major characters of Welcome Back, Kotter were based on people from Kaplan's teen years as a remedial high school student in Brooklyn.


The TV characters' signature lines became enormously popular catch phrases such as Barbarino's "up your nose with a rubber hose" and Washington's deep-voiced "hi there" and Horshack's wheezing laugh. It wasn't long before the previously unknown actors became hot commodities, particularly John Travolta, the show's breakout star. [Wikipedia]

The popular theme song "Welcome Back," written and recorded by former Lovin' Spoonful frontman John Sebastian, became a #1 hit in the spring of 1976. [Wikipedia]

WELCOME BACK by John Sebastian
Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Back here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've got him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.




M*A*S*H is an American television series developed by Larry Gelbart, adapted from the 1970 feature film MASH (which was itself based on the 1968 novel MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors, by Richard Hooker). The series is a medical drama/black comedy that was produced in association with 20th Century Fox Television for CBS. It follows a team of doctors and support staff stationed at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital in Uijeongbu, South Korea, during the Korean War. M*A*S*H's title sequence featured an instrumental version of the song "Suicide Is Painless", which also appears in the original film.

The series premiered on September 17, 1972, and ended February 28, 1983, with the finale becoming the most-watched television episode in U.S. television history, with about 106 million viewers. The show is still broadcast in syndication on various television stations. The series, which covered a three-year military conflict, spanned 251 episodes and lasted eleven seasons.

Many of the stories in the early seasons are based on real-life tales told by real MASH surgeons who were interviewed by the production team. Like the movie, the series was as much an allegory about the Vietnam War (still in progress when the show began) as it was about the Korean War.

[EXCERPTS: Wikipedia]
The series creators wanted M*A*S*H broadcast without a laugh track, but the TV network, CBS, refused to allow this. As such, in America the series was shown complete with laugh track, but in the UK it aired as originally intended. However, an exception was made in the American version where scenes in the Operating Room never used the laugh track. For one particular episode, set entirely in the O.R., this meant an entire episode broadcast in the U.S. which had no laugh track.

In the UK, one episode was accidentally broadcast with the laugh track left in, and the BBC announcer apologised for "the technical problems we had" afterwards.

On all released DVDs, both in the UK and America, there is an option to watch the show with or without the laugh track.

Gary Burghoff (Radar)'s left hand is slightly deformed, and he took great pains to hide or de-emphasize it during filming. He did this by always holding something (like a clipboard) or keeping that hand in his pocket. Burghoff later commented that his deformity would have made it impossible for him to be involved in active service.

The 4077th actually consisted of two separate sets. An outdoor set, in the mountains near Malibu, California (Calabasas, Los Angeles County, California) was used for most exterior and tent scenes for every season. The indoor set, on a sound stage at Fox Studios, was used for the indoor scenes for the run of the series...Just as the series was wrapping production, a major brush fire destroyed the entire set on October 9, 1982. The fire was written into the final episode as a forest fire caused by enemy incendiary bombs.

When M*A*S*H was filming its last episode, the producers were contacted by the Smithsonian Institution, which asked to be given a part of the set. The producers quickly agreed and sent the tent, signposts, and contents of the "swamp", which was home to Hawkeye, BJ, Trapper, Charles, and Frank during the course of the show. The Smithsonian has the "swamp" on display to this day. Originally found on the Ranch, Radar's teddy bear, once housed at the Smithsonian, was sold at auction on July 29, 2005 for $11,800.

As the series progressed, it made a significant shift from being primarily a comedy to becoming far more drama-focused. Changes behind the scenes were the cause, rather than the oft-cited cast defections...

Executive Producer Gene Reynolds left at the end of the fifth season in 1977. This, coupled with head writer Larry Gelbart's departure the previous season, stripped the show of its comedic foundation. Likewise, with the departure of Larry Linville after five seasons, the series lost its "straight man" (comic foil).

Beginning with the sixth season, Alan Alda and new Executive Producer Burt Metcalfe became the "voice" of M*A*S*H, and continued in those roles for the remaining five seasons (though Alda and Gene Reynolds became Executive Consultants). By the eighth season in 1979, the writing staff had been totally overhauled, and M*A*S*H displayed a different feel—consciously moving between comedy and drama, unlike the seamless integration of years gone by. While this latter era showcased some fine dramatic moments, the attempts at pure comedy were not as successful as compared to the first five seasons. The quirky, fractured camp of the early years had gradually turned into a homogenized "family"; clever dialogue gave way to puns; and the sharply defined characters were often unrecognizable and lost most of their comedic bite. In addition, the episodes became more political, and the show was often accused of preaching to its viewers. At the same time, many episodes from the later era were praised for its experimentation with the half-hour sitcom format...

Harry Morgan, who played Col. Potter, admitted in an interview that he felt "the cracks were starting to show" by Season 9, and the cast had agreed to make Season 10 their last. CBS decided otherwise, saying that their hit show wasn't going to go away so suddenly. Ultimately, CBS persuaded the cast and crew to produce half a regular season of episodes for the final year (making an official run of eleven seasons) and end the series with a big finale, which ultimately became one of the most watched episodes in television history.

"Goodbye, Farewell and Amen" was the final episode of M*A*S*H. The episode aired on February 28, 1983, and was 2½ hours long. The episode got a Nielsen rating of 60.2 and 77 share, translating into nearly 106 million Americans watching that night, which established it as the most-watched episode in United States television history, a record that still stands to this day. The only record it did not break was the highest percentage of homes with television sets to watch a TV series, which is still held by the August 1967 final episode of The Fugitive, which was watched in 72% of all American homes with television sets.

M*A*S*H was the first American network series to use the phrase "son of a bitch" (in the 8th-season episode "Guerilla My Dreams"), and there was brief partial nudity in the series (notably Gary Burghoff's buttocks in "The Sniper" and Hawkeye in one of the "Dear Dad" episodes). A different innovation was the show's producers' not wanting a laugh track, as the network did. They compromised with a "chuckle track", played only occasionally.

In his blog, writer Ken Levine revealed that on one occasion, when the cast offered too many nitpicking "notes" on a script, he and his writing partner changed the script to a "cold show"—one set during the frigid Korean winter. The cast then had to stand around barrel fires in parkas at the Malibu ranch when the temperatures neared 100 degrees. Levine says, "This happened maybe twice, and we never got a ticky-tack note again."

"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Mike Altman (lyrics), which is best known for being featured as the theme song for both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H. The actual title, as it appears on the sheet music, is "Song from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless)."

Mike Altman is the son of the original film's director, Robert Altman, and was 14 years old when he composed the song's lyrics. During an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1980s, Robert Altman said that his son earned more than a million dollars for co-writing the song while he only made $70,000 for directing the movie.
[Wikipedia]

SUICIDE IS PAINLESS by Johnny Mandel & Mike Altman
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...

[chorus]:

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...

[Chorus]

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.

[Chorus]

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.

[Chorus]

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin...

[Chorus]

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
'is it to be or not to be'
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

Suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.




M.A.S.H. Intro (instrumental)

QUOTES
Wikiquote
Hawkeye: You know, we gotta do it someday... throw away all the guns and invite all the jokers from the north and the south to a cocktail party. Last man standing on his feet at the end wins the war.

IMDb
Frank Burns: Why does everyone take an instant dislike to me?
Trapper: It saves time, Frank.

TV.com
Hawkeye: I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.


MORE 70S TV THEME SONGS


AND FINALLY...Three's Company (reenactment)
This was the closest I could find to the original.
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