Is the Recession Ruining Your Relationship?[jezebel.com - Jul.19/09]
COMMENTS
Slumdog_Mamabear says:
I think this article missed the mark if it was attempting to resonate with a large group of readers. What the recession has done to mangle my relationship has nothing to do with wine lists or the inability to go running with the bulls. When I married my husband we used to joke that we would happily live under a bridge together.
But this recession hit at the same time as my medical problems did. So not only is he left figuring out how to stay employed in an unemployable field, but we are saddled with medical debt as well.
Financial difficulties don't hurt relationships because we are all wishing we could go to nicer restaraunts. But because it can create a perfect storm of role confusion, guilt, resentment and fear that would tear apart even the closest of couples.
What dopes those two are. Crying into their 30 dollar wines and realizing that their significant other was just....boring.
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WashingMyHair says:
@Slumdog_Mamabear: You are my twin. It's been the same for me and my husband. We started dating when we had no money and didn't feel entitled when we started to make a decent living. But then, his wages started to stagnate, then decrease, right when I started suffering from a few medical issues that not only brought on medical bills, but affected my career and income.
It's been hard on our relationship for the same reasons you cited. But I"m also not too ashamed to say that I also slightly resent that my whole life, I've never even been close to achieving the "American Dream". Maybe that's because we've worked hard and played by the rules.
It sometimes seems that the American dream is only for members of the lucky sperm club or people who hurt others in order to get ahead.
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Slumdog_Mamabear says:
@WashingMyHair: I am slightly embarrassed to say that reading your comment made me tear up. I am so sorry that you have been through some of this stuff as well, but to hear someone reach out from the ether and say they understand means a lot.
We really thought we were on our way to that dream. We were comfortable enough that we even had two kids at the beginning of our marriage. (They are still babies now). But with Papabears industry collapsing and me hardly able to take care of the kids, let alone a job, it just all seems so scary.
But I have to have faith that we can pull through it TOGETHER. We may not have much right now but we don't have anything if we give up.
