100 Things Restaurant Staff Should Never Do (Part 1)Herewith is a modest list of dos and don’ts for servers at the seafood restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses, libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature. And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks, reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that role?
1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.
Next week: 51-100.
COMMENTS
I don’t know–I was a bartender here in NYC from 1978 to 1993, and I wouldn’t protest a single one of these. They are all perfectly logical and appropriate to me, and I would have been happy to work at, and be happy to be a patron at, any establishment that followed these rules.
This should be a must for every server and restaurant employee to memorize. I agree with all 50 and look forward to the next 50. The best one is when a waiter tells you which is their favorite. Do I care? No!
This makes me a bit nostalgic for the days I waited and bused tables. Incidentally, Bruce, you seem like the kind of diner whose food would get spit in. I’m not your slave and if I want to complement somebody I will, and when I’ve got 8 other tables I’ll take your order when you’re ready, I don’t see why I have to stand around waiting for a lull in your conversation.
I don’t EVER want to hear a waitperson say “Still working on that?” when eyeing my not-empty plate! Food is for pleasure, not for work.
Circulate this widely please.
What about a list of things diners should never do? As a former server, I can give you one-hundred of those and then some. Servers are generally far better behaved than some of the customers we have to deal with. Period.
These are actually good rules for the guests too–never touch the server, never curse, never ask for the server’s favorites, etc. It is easy to forget that a compliment to one person, when in a group, often means others feel left out. No one means to snub, but they happen. If we all thought about the over all experience our interactions create, we would be much better off.
This will probably be covered in the next installment but please, never, never ask, “Do you want change?” Don’t try to shame me into giving you a tip larger than I intended - just bring the change.
How arrogant! The author should describe what staffers should DO, and WHY; not what they should NOT do. That simply shows that the author is a terrible manager and has chosen employees poorly in the past. Anyone who applauds this article should be forced to wait on people to get a glimpse of reality.
I don’t like it when a restaurant removes each plate as soon as the person finishes eating, finally leaving one lone member of the party finishing up. This seems to be standard operating procedure now, though.
Okay, just two more and we’re in dining heaven:
1. Do not ask, “How is everything!” when a diner has his or her mouth full.
2. Do not ever comment on the conversation at a table. Once a waitress came over and said, “Sounds like a great movie!” when a friend was telling me a serious story from his life.
Oh boy, thanks for mentioning #17! It drives me crazy when the busboy starts removing plates while somebody is still eating. As a former restaurant owner, this is the first thing I taught my employees. How stupid does one feel when they’re still eating and everybody else has had their plates removed? Some people eat faster than others, or somebody is talking more and eating less quickly, I hesitate to mention this to the bus person, as they’re just doing as they’ve been told, and I don’t want to cause trouble for them, but I do occasionally say something to the manager and of course they ‘yes’ me but I know they just don’t get it.
Hallelujah! I want to send this to the last place that we had an atrociously bad waitress. I was reamed on Yelp for giving a bad review for the service, but they deserved it after violating MANY MANY of the above….I stand by my review. Waitstaff should know better, particularly in a fancy place.
As a consumer, I appreciate this list. I also hope that the restaurant owner and manager offer their employees the same level of treatment–measured in respect, salary, and benefits–that they expect from them.
Here’s some tips from the Brotherhood of Servers & Busers to a restaurant wage:
1) Offer your serving staff health insurance;
2) Offer your serving staff paid vacation, sick leave, and personal days;
3) Pay overtime out-of-pocket and do not expect tips to properly compensate for long hours — servers often work “doubles” over 10+ hours in a day. They should be compensated accordingly at a minimum of $15 per hour for hours logged over 8 in a day;
If you abide by these 3 basic, just and fair tenets — you can fully expect an exceptional level of professionalism from your servers. If you’re greed gets the best of you, be happy with whatever you get & keep your 100 tips in good use by reciting them to yourself each night as you struggle to fall asleep.
— Retired Waiter
I agree with all of them except #7. Nothing turns a server’s head faster than “Justin.” if their name is Justin. Knowing that allows a guest to get their server’s attention without flailing about. It also allows me to tell management about a fine or not so fine job.
I was looking for my pet peeve, the server who auctions off the food at the table because it is apparently too complicated to remember who ordered what. I found it, # 18.
Hard to imagine 51 - 100. This list seems to cover it all.
What is the name of the seafood restaurant the writer is opening? I WILL be a customer!
On point #14, my family and I went out to dinner and at one point I quietly remarked that some times it seems as if waiters automatically ask “is everything okay?” without really caring about the answer. As if on cue, a waiter came by and asked the question. My father-in-law, who was having a bad time with some overcooked, tough steak, answered “no” and explained the problem, to which the waiter answered “good, good” and walked away.
Regarding #18: My favorite is when the server comes to the table and says, “Are you the trout?”
I used to be a waitress myself. How hard is it to remember what people ordered? That’s the waiter’s job. And don’t hand me the plate for goodness sake. Put it down in front of me.
A pet peeve of mine is any restaurant personnel who says “Oh I’m sorry, so and so was supposed to do that” I don’t care. Apologize for the problem, and fix it. Don’t tell me who you blame. You can argue about who does what after I leave. And you will get a bigger tip for fixing the problem than trying to make it look like you don’t make mistakes.
When waitstaff ask too many times, “Is everything all right?”, I eventually reply, “Just what’s bad that I should I be looking for?”
[Comment total: 1,158]
Part 2
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