Flakes, Maniacs & Psychos

I've been doing this "job" for about 3 years now. I've worked for several agencies, and became an independent in August, 2007. You can say I've met my fair share of men - probably more than would be expected of most women during their lifetime. Whatevs. I've more or less made my peace with the fact that this is what I do for a living. I - by no stretch of the imagination - regard it as a career, calling or special talent. I don't feel shame about it, nor am I flattered by it. I just get through it, that's all. And a good day for me, is a day when I feel nothing about it at all.

Having said that, I've come to know over the years three distinct types of clients: Flakes, Maniacs and Psychos. Their appearance in my life has been frequent enough to be worthy of note.

These guys bug me the most. They call me, off-the-cuff, as if all of a sudden they crave pussy - like it's pizza or something - and decide it might be fun to place an order. Their manner is waaay too casual. Seriously, they're better off ordering the damn pizza, hanging out in their underwear & smoking weed.
A typical call from a flake goes like this:

Me: Hello?
Flake: Hello.
(Dead air....)

Oh c'mon! This guy's waiting for me to take the lead, yet he's the one who made the call. He who hesitates gets nothing. I don't book calls with guys like this anymore - they're a waste of time. I've had flakes book a call and then fail to show up, not even bothering to call or text their cancellation. How rude. I recall one guy who booked with me twice, then cancelled twice, moments before his appointment, offering me no explanation or excuse. Third time was the charm only because he was sincerely apologetic over the phone. Yes, phone manners do count for something.

I get the distinct impression from flakes that they think they're doing me a favour by calling me, as if to say: Of all the pussy at my disposal, I choose YOURS. Show me what you got! What makes you so special? Why should I give my money to YOU?
Being the professional that I am, I don't tell them what I'm thinking, which is to fuck off. Instead, I just tell them I'm unavailable. No way in hell would a guy like that have a good time with me. Not with that kind of attitude.

A maniac is defined in the dictionary as "a person who has an excessive enthusiasm or desire for something". It also refers to "an insane person". I find this rather telling about how our culture regards anyone who cares - what we deem as - a little too much about anything. Conversely, someone who's cool, is either "marked by calm self-control", or "marked by indifference, disdain or dislike". Isn't that interesting? Everyone wants to be cool - no one wants to be a maniac.

For me, a client who's a maniac has an enormous amount of energy - more than the average guy. He's got this restlessness that propels him through life as if he's being chased by demons. He's the guy who goes bungee jumping, takes flying lessons and travels all over the globe just for the hell of it. This guy can't sit still.
Needless to say, he's a rare breed, and of the three, he's the only type of client I actually enjoy being with. He usually has tons of interesting stories and with him, there's never a dull moment. I'd gladly ditch my life here to follow him on one of his escapades, if only I could be absolutely sure it wouldn't get me killed. I can't fool myself, though. More than a weekend with a guy like this would be exhausting.

The worst kind of guy to get a call from. Avoid, avoid, avoid. There's a subdued nature about them - like a sinister undercurrent - that's bone-chilling. These guys set my creep radar on high alert and they're not the kind of guy I want to mess with, money be damned.

One of the disadvantages of working with an agency is that they frequently send you out on sketchy calls. I met one guy this way, who sent me running in the opposite direction. Bad vibes got me the hell outta there. I told him I felt nauseous - food poisoning or something. I blacklisted him so that when he called again, no one was sent to him. That's right. These guys should be denied access, even if they're willing to pay. There's something not right about them, and in all probability, they're downright dangerous. With a guy like that, any woman who lets down her guard , does so at her own peril. Believe you me, I've heard the stories.

Is it any wonder so many women in this business get strung out by one form of addiction or another? I'm the anomaly: I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I watch what I eat and I try to work out every day. I'll be damned if I'm going to let this business get the better of me, even though many an instant I wish I'd something to tide me over a particularly trying episode.

Men who pay for it tend to regard the service provider as nothing more than a series of orifices. They tend to feel entitled to her body, mind, time and energy. They tend to not understand when she's not comfortable doing certain things. But I paid for it appears to be their attitude, as if this gives them the right to take control of her decision-making faculty, to manipulate her into saying yes when she really means no.

I don't let the men - or the money - dictate how I do things. I've had to learn through trial and error that I've nothing to gain - but everything to lose - by not holding my ground. I've become strong-willed over the years, but not hard. And now I can yield to certain requests, without compromising myself.

Yes, it's possible to give in to some things, without giving up everything.