1/30/2009

The Other Woman

Sophia Loren_Marriage Italian-Style_1964
A film which tells the story of a successful businessman who kept a woman as his mistress for several years and now plans to marry another woman until his mistress pretends to be on her deathbed to induce him to marry her before she dies. (Wikipedia)


That Kind of Woman_Sophia Loren, Tab Hunter et. al._1959
Set during World War II, Kay is a sophisticated Italian woman, the mistress of a Manhattan millionaire industrialist known simply as The Man, who uses her to help him influence his contacts at The Pentagon. While en route from Miami to New York City by train, she and her friend Jane meet a considerably younger American paratrooper named Red and his sergeant George Kelly, and Kay and Red fall into a romantic relationship. Eventually the woman finds herself torn between her upscale life in a Sutton Place apartment and the prospect of true love with the GI. (Wikipedia)


True story: I was a mistress for 2 and a half months. It didn't last because he said his wife was getting suspicious. When I think about it now, I don't know if I believe him. Not after all the effort he put into setting me up in a place where he could feel comfortable and was convenient to get to. Either his conscience got the better of him or I turned out to be more than he could handle. I suspect both explanations may be true. I guess I'll never know for sure.

While it lasted, it was a polite, hassle-free and incredibly boring affair. He was a true gentleman, very considerate and yet utterly lacking in passion. I suppose that was my department. I tried, but it's hard to build a fire with wet kindling. He wasn't the kind of man who could rock a girl's world - more like a cruise ship plowing ahead at a steady pace than a cigarette boat tearing up the waters of Miami Beach.

I liked the financial security, though. Who wouldn't? I only had to see him 3 times per week and one of those meetings was just for lunch. Talk about cushy. When he dissolved the arrangement, he made sure I had enough to cover my rent for the rest of the year. Very generous, to say the least.

A few months later, I bumped into him. He was alone, his wife away for the weekend. They never did "work things out" and while he claimed he didn't have a mistress, he admitted to seeing escorts while on business trips. I wonder now if perhaps while we were together, the guilt was getting to him. He was always nervous he might get caught. In another country, there was practically no way she'd ever find out. For some guys, it doesn't count as cheating if they do it across a border.

I bring this up now because of the kerfuffle over the DABA (Dating a Banker Anonymous) women and a recent Good Morning America piece about an 18-year-old "Sugar Baby". Some people are claiming the DABA website is a hoax. After reading a couple of their posts, I don't think so. For me, some of the language, scenarios and attitudes ring true. I was never such a brat with "The Man", but I can see how a woman in that type of situation could have her head lodged so far up her ass she can't see what's really going on around her, vis-a-vis the world's financial crisis and why he can no longer pamper her the way he used to. It's a very isolating environment. Even if she's "allowed" to have a separate life (friends, job, school etc.), he's still the focus of her world. His needs come first. Always.

In actual fact, they probably never discuss what's going on in the world. She's his toy or pet, there to entertain him and make him feel like a star. The last thing he wants to talk about is falling stock prices and skyrocketing unemployment rates. A good little mistress flirts, fucks and never contradicts.
And when he says "Jump.", she does so eagerly. Preferably in the heels and garters he bought for her.

God, You Are So 24!
Sugar Daddies

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