Lions mating is a noisy affair with lots of growling, meowing and snarling sounds. Afterward the female usually rolls onto her back to lie like that for at least a minute or so. Yesterday, I saw Mr. Blue Eyes.
I call him that because his eyes are a truly vivid shade of blue - almost too blue.
I suspect tinted contacts - and not genetics - are the reason they matched his sweater so well.
After he left, he called me 10 minutes later and said to me,
I want to attack you all over again.
I laughed.
This was after 20 straight minutes of organ-smashing, bone-shattering, jackhammer sex.
You know what I mean: Bang! bang! bang! over and over and over again, doggy style.
No kissing, no caressing, no intimacy.
The most monotonous, boring type of sex there is - for me at least - not that the men who engage in it give a rat's ass what I think.
Scratch that: He did say he can only enjoy himself if his partner does. Translation: Yell your ass off to convince me you're into it as much as I am.
So I did.
I yelled and screamed and faked the biggest orgasm ever in the history of orgasms and he came with the ferocity of the lion in that picture.
He had a wonderful time and wants to see me again.
Poor guy.
He actually thinks he's great in bed.
And I'm here to cater to his delusion.
