211 in Progress by SirCharlie [flickr.com]Love & Sex Guide
NOW Magazine - 2009
(Excerpt)
Who Are We?
Gals outnumber the guys in this survey 54% to 46%.
Women dominate more in the younger age groups: The 18-to-24 age group is 63% women and among the over-50s only 38% women.
Most survey respondents - three-quarters of the women and two-thirds of the men - are 18-35.
73% of men and 69% of women are strictly into the opposite sex. A substantial 16% of men and 26% of women like it with either gender.
But once again, sexual preference and labels are two different things: 86% of both sexes identify themselves as straight. So almost 1 in 5 of us who describe ourselves as straight actually find both sexes a turn-on. Same is true for a whopping 44% of us who describe ourselves as gay.
Sexual evolution is obviously alive and well among us. And as we search and often find bliss in our own way, we're creating a new, more honest and open sexual culture. As you can see from the chart, it's more or less working.
Welcome into our lives...
How Do We Rate Our Sex Lives?
9% = A total bomb
13% = A masterpiece
15% = Lackluster
31% = Sizzling
32% = Good but not great
Which is Greater?
The Number of People You've Had Sex With.
The Number of People You've Dated.
They're Pretty Much the Same.
26% = Pretty much the same
40% of straights & 73% gay men = Had sex with more people than they've dated
You Said...
"I don't date. I have sex and get married."
"Always the fuck buddy, never the girlfriend."
"Dated lots of girls until age 34, when the light bulb went on that I was playing for the wrong team."
"Chances are if I kiss you I'm going to fuck you."
"Do prostitutes count?"
"Sex is easier than dating."
What is Your Favourite Part of Sex: Anticipation, Foreplay, Orgasm or Cuddling Afterwards?
43% of women = Foreplay
49% straight men = Foreplay
29% straight women = Orgasm
25% all men = Orgasm
13% gay men = Cuddling
8% all respondents = Cuddling
You Said...
"That very first moment of penetration. Daydreaming, which fuels anticipation."
"Who the fuck would like cuddling more than an orgasm?"
"I would say orgasm but it's never happened...shit!"
"It's like asking what's your favourite part of a pizza. It all works together deliciously."
"I chose foreplay, but it's actually hearing and seeing my girl moan, scream and squirm."
"What part of sex is bad?"
When You Think of Your Past Relationships, Which Usually Came First: An Emotional Connection or a Physical Connection?
50% = Emotional
50% = Physical
You Said...
"Drinks and drugs?"
"I met my husband on what was meant to be a one-night stand."
"I need to emotionally attach, even superficially, to be able to orgasm."
"If the physical connection is too strong at first, there's no chance to really get to know each other."
"Sex and emotions have almost nothing to do with one another."
"Sometimes the physical helps to create the emotional."
What's Your Usual Approach to Breaking Up With Someone?
7% = Dial & dump
8% = Written words
20% = I try to make them break up with me first
65% = It's only fair to look them in the eyes when I'm saying my goodbyes
You Said...
"If we dated for a few weeks, phone. If it was longer, then face-to-face."
"Dial and dump if I still like them as a person. In person if I want to hurt their feelings."
"Facebook message breakups should be illegal!"
"Ideally, I like to disappear in a puff of smoke."
"I save the face-to-face for getting back together again."
Do You Generally Freshen Your Breath Right After Giving Someone Oral?
13% = Always
22% of single gay men = Always
8% straight women & 6% straight men = I don't give oral
You Said...
"In intimacy there is no hygiene."
"Luckily, my boyfriend has delicious spunk."
"No need to make a mad dash to the Scope if the men drink plenty of pineapple juice."
"Grand Marnier is a great mouthwash."
"I love to kiss someone after they've been down on me."
"Vegetarians taste so much better."
What's the Greatest Number of Times You've Had Sex in a Day (24 Hours)?
35% = 1-3
35% = 4-5
11% = 8 or more
You Said...
"Do hours count? I lost count of the sex, but I know it was eight hours."
"Girls have much more stamina than boys!"
"It was with three guys, having them more than 10 times each."
"It's quality, not quantity."
"Six times - we would have gone more but we ran out of condoms."
"We were going for a record but the relationship ended first."
"Only soreness can stop me."
"If you do it right the first three times, there's no reason to do it anymore."
"It got tiresome toward the end."
"Sixteen times - I was 19 and she was a 31-year-old French teacher at a Catholic school."
Have You Ever Been in Love With More Than One Person at the Same Time?
7% = I've never been in love
46% = Yes
47% = I could only ever be in love with one person at a time
You Said...
"I have evolved to successful emotional detachment."
"It didn't work with either one because they both found out."
"So many men, so little time."
"Wish my partners were secure enough to be able to handle it."
"Anybody who says they can only be in love with one person at a time is a brainwashed drone."
"I love my wife and my married lover equally...and my lover loves me and her husband equally." "It is addictive, dangerous and energizing!"
"One was for his brain, the other for his cock."
Your Most Exciting Sex Has Been With:
45% of singles & 27% partnered = stranger or casual lover
64% partnered & 35% singles = someone to whom they are emotionally attached
20% singles & 9% partnered = someone to whom they once had a strong emotional attachment
You Said...
"Myself!"
"Ex sex is scarily fantastic."
"A casual lover who morphed into becoming my boyfriend...now the sex is better than ever."
"It was actually someone I hated!"
"The threesome was the best. No attachments and it was all about me!"
"There's nothing more electric than falling into an affair with someone you've known for years."
"With my soulmate. He's unleashed the beast within me."
"My boss - he was out, I was not."
"My cousin's girlfriend, while they were together. The best sex I ever had."
What Are Your Thoughts on an Open Relationship?
33% = Good idea but not workable
27% of straights & 43% gays = Win-win situation / Challenging but worthwhile
You Said...
"I think it's stupid. Trying to get the best of both worlds."
"I've had various open relationships, which require maturity. It's hard work, but I relish the human experience."
"We swing but would never cheat."
"If you can't have everything with the person you're with, then you're with the wrong person."
"Rooted in delusion."
"It's like Communism - it looks great on paper."
Have You Ever Been in an Open Relationship?
Majority = Been there, done that / Not now, but maybe later
40% = Never have, never will
You Said...
"If a man is willing to share me emotionally and physically, he clearly does not think I'm priceless."
"My husband, child and lover get along really well and there's more love in the world. Everyone wins."
"It was heartbreaking. Especially since it was established after a year of monogamy."
"Just another excuse to fuck around."
"Closed doesn't have to mean monogamous. A couple who plays together stays together."
"Dying to be in one but can't get from the theoretical to the practical."
"That's the only way I can love now."
"Try everything once."
How Far Have You Gone in a Public Setting?
45% = Penetration
24% = Genital fondling
14% = French kissing
12% = Oral
5% = None of the above
You Said...
"Got caught, didn't stop."
"We had sex at a posh lawn bowling club, a baseball park and in the middle of a four-lane road in one night."
"I've licked my guy's penis discreetly while waiting for the subway."
"The cops were called...they were watching for a while before we noticed them."
"Back-alley drunk fuckfests are not as fun as they sound."
"Had sex in a condo under construction and then stole some furniture."
When it Comes to Relationship Advice, You Consider Yourself:
11% = A devout follower
22% = A non-participant
24% = A total hypocrite
43% = A wise oracle
You Said...
"Clueless."
"I'm single, but I give great advice."
"I can figure out anyone's relationship issues except mine."
"I give them advice so they will sleep with me."
"I never realize I'm doing the opposite of what I'd advise someone else to do until I've already done it."
"I'm a wise hypocrite."
"Giving is easy; swallowing is hard."
Have You Ever Been Aroused by Erotica/Porn that is Contrary to Your Sexual Orientation?
73% of women & 54% men = Yes, but it wasn't life-altering
12% = Yes, and it surprised the hell out of me
You Said...
"A lesbian who loves gay male porn. Go figure."
"It eventually made me realize I'm attracted to the same sex."
"There isn't much that is contrary to my sexual orientation."
"I find lesbian porn hotter than straight porn, and I'm not really into vaginas!"
"Gay porn was how I discovered I was bisexual."
"I'm a bisexual. It was a bit of a shock to my 13-year-old self at the time, though."
"Strap-on porn does it for me."
Have You Asked Someone You Were Attracted to About Their Sexual Orientation?
41% of straights & 25% gays = I always know without asking
30% straights = No, but I wanted to
22% gay men & 8% straight men = Yes, but it was awkward
20% straights & 34% gays = Yes, and I got the answer I was hoping for
You Said...
"I was fairly sure about their orientation, but it was a conservative Christian environment and there were a lot of risks involved for both of us."
"You always have to ask when you're gay!"
"I fell in love with two gay guys in high school. They ended up together. My gaydar is super-keen now."
"Yes, and I didn't get the answer I wanted, half-naked man at Pride. I should have known."
"Gaydar is a beautiful thing."
"I don't really care what their sexual orientation is, I'll just flirt my little ass off anyways."
"I've asked out way too many lesbians."
You First Became Aware of Your Fetish or Kink Through:
30% of women & 25% men = I don't have a fetish or kink
38% = Interaction with a person
22% men & 13% women = The Internet
23% gays & 17% straights = A movie, magazine or book
You Said...
"I've felt kinky all my life."
"Nothing like good old Anais Nin to get you kinky."
"Stealing my brother's porn and reading the "articles" at 12 years old."
"The book was Nancy Drew, in a scene where she got tied up. I was eight."
"Wrestling my guy friends made me realize that I am gay and love to be dominated physically."
"Humping a pillow in Grade 4, I realized I like masturbating with friends around."
"Watching my sister shop for panties."
"When some weird guy tried to smell my feet after a basketball game."
"I'm not kinky...my slave is."
Which Makes You Most Nervous?
14% = Introducing your lover to your family
20% = Being introduced to your lover's friends
25% = Introducing your lover to your friends
41% = Being introduced to your lover's family
You Said...
"Current boyfriend = youngest of 12. Eek!"
"Family is always tricky, especially when you're not sure about the relationship."
"Lovers are generally jealous, and the majority of my friends are the opposite sex. You can do the math."
"Parents scare the hell out of me. It's kinda like your lover saying: "...and here's my baggage...wanna share?""
"Most of my straight friends aren't aware that I've switched teams."
"What if I'm more into his dad?"
What Effect Has Erotica/Porn Had on Your Sex Life?
8% = I don't read/watch porn
8% = It's been damaging
28% = None whatsoever
56% = It's given it a boost
You Said...
"Copycat is a fun game to play."
"It's been damaging only in the sense that I could likely get much more done in a day."
"A boost for a short time, then I find it repulsive."
"Almost my entire sexual education derives from porn."
"I prefer my imagination and mirrors."
"Reading is the only way to go, stimulate the mind and the body will follow."
"We don't watch it together, but it sure as hell makes me horny for him when he gets home."
"When there were things I was too embarrassed to tell my boyfriend, I'd show him porn and watch his reaction first."
"Girls hate it when their boyfriends look at porn - no matter what they say."
"Lifesaver during dry patches."
What's the Most Annoying Habit You've Experienced With a Past or Present Lover?
"Answering the phone while in the middle of it."
"The desire to always cum together."
"A musician who'd wash his hands like he was scrubbing in for surgery after intimate moments."
"Always insisting I kiss him after he's eaten me out, even though he wouldn't let my mouth touch him after a blow job."
"Farting while inside me."
"Having my lover ask me to hold his penis while he pees."
"He liked to tell me about past sexual experiences during sex."
"He stuck out his tongue whenever he was thrusting. What are you, a dog?"
"He used to stop right after the first thrust and say, "Hellooooo cervix!"
"Lengthy boring foreplay. Just get in!"
"Nose-picking during sex."
"Not bothering to take my bra off properly, just shoving it around my neck all the time."
"One lover had an Oedipus complex and kept calling me "Mom" in bed."
"Uncontrollable giggling while he groped me. It was like making out with a teenager."
"When my partner grabs my head and pushes me down to give him oral. I'll go down when I'm damn ready!"
"Caressing me when I'm dominant."
"Having to tell my partner to wash his ass with soap and water because he has skid marks, and he wants me to rim him! No way!"
"He'd wear the shirt he just masturbated into or cleaned himself up with."
"Demanding monogamy."
"Her sticking my fingers up her skirt in public places."
"I had a lover who personified my penis - "I think he wants to go inside now," etc. Ugh!"
"One girl I dated only wanted anal sex."
"She never wanted to experiment."
Share a Sexy Secret of Yours that Would Surprise or Shock Others.
"I'm turned on by hockey jerseys."
"I fooled around with my mom's co-worker and her husband."
"I fantasize about being fucked by an elephant."
"I get most turned on when my partner does things to me while I pretend to be asleep."
"I love masturbating with my window open when it's raining."
"I used to plug myself with Barbie dolls. Think about it!"
"My wife and I sometimes pretend we are siblings."
"Seeing as most of my friends don't know I'm a lesbian, that would probably be it."
"When we were young, my neighbour and I used to let her dog lick our pussies."
"Drinking blood is hot."
"For casual encounters I need to be wearing a bubblegum-pink bob wig."
"Fucked almost the whole football team in college."
"Getting fingered in a mosh pit."
"Although I was raped, rape fantasies still get me off."
"I had an affair when I was 15 with my best friend's mother."
"I like toes in my vag."
"I love being filmed or photographed while having sex, masturbating, etc."
"I lost a small vibrator in my bum once."
"I've only had sex with two people. The second person doesn't know that."
"My boyfriend of almost two years has still never really seen me completely naked."
"My hubby gets the best boner when I wear a straitjacket for sex."
"I've done sexual things with men I'm not physically attracted to just so I could explore various kinks."
"I once let my boyfriend throw a pie in my face as foreplay."
"I've a fantasy of watching my parents fuck."
"I learned how to kiss from my sister."
"I still have sex with my sister."
"I used to have sex regularly with farm animals."
"I've paid to get trampled and ass-fucked by a dominatrix. It was hot."
"Received oral in a gay bar dark room in Amsterdam, while my wife stood by my side."
"I once masturbated with a cherry inside my pussy, then ate it after I came - yum."
"Bestiality turns me on."
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