3/31/2010

Granny Got Some




The Birth Control in Grandma's Closet
COMMENTS
MY maternal great grandmother hid 6 gallons of moonshine in bed with her from the police during prohibition as they searched the house. She did this because they wouldn't be so uncouth to disturb a woman in bed and she got away with it. Unfortunately, she died at 29 of ovarian cancer but it sounds like they were a full 29 years.

MY maternal grandmother was a gangster moll and ran with all the bootleggers when she was a teenager during Prohibition. She later married a man, had two kids, divorced him, got knocked up by some stranger with my mom, and eventually remarried. It was only after she died and my mom hired a private detective that she discovered her real father was a married college professor.

MY mom moved to Florida with her boyfriend at 17, and was really irritated when I slept at my boyfriend's house at 19. (I'm 30 now, and I never slept with him, Mom.) It's self-delusion to help the older generation sleep at night. They know what they were up to, but they want different/better for us, so they pretend standards were higher when they were young, and try to hold us to same. Everybody's full of shit.

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