Why did Jesse James marry Sandra Bullock?
Devil on the left, angel on the right?
Jesse James found her irresistable.Model Behaviour: On Jesse James, Tiger Woods and Sex with "Trashy Girls"
COMMENTS
The real story is, why does a man marry someone that is completely opposite of what turns him on?
I suspect-- and that's all this is, a supposition-- that there's cultural pressure involved. A lot of us men (and Woods and James are no exceptions) get the double standard programmed into them that "Trashy girls" are fine for a good time but you must marry a "Good Girl". It almost always bites you in the ass when you realize that the woman you married just isn't doing it for you but you stay married to keep up the social obligations of Being married. The cheating is just a logical extension of trying to be someone you're not.
missdelite: The social pressure you allude to comes from the family's motivation to carry on its bloodline and name. Offspring learn from an early age that family comes first and it's up to them to continue the legacy. Lower class families feel the pressure to progress up the social ladder by "marrying up", and upper class families strive to hang on to what they have by marrying within their class. "Good girls" are marriage material because they fit within the family structure - which explains why men tend to marry women who look like their sister or a younger version of their mother - or because they represent a step up the social ladder, like Elin Nordgren. "Bad girls" are sexually available because they're conveniently delegated to a world beyond familial boundaries, where there's no chance of them upsetting its harmony (or so men think).
For reasons I've yet to grasp, many men equate their sexual needs and true, barn-burning passion with something that's "bad" and not to be pursued within the home with their wife. Granted, some men have perverse sexual leanings that most women don't understand or indulge, but others have simpler needs and look to another woman as an escape. Question is: an escape from what? Routine? The challenges of aging in a youth-oriented society? Personal failures? All of the above?
Acknowledging these factors makes me wonder where "love" fits into the equation. What do men perceive as love when it comes to choosing a life partner, considering that he's encouraged to seek her within a very select, well-defined group? What happens when a "Romeo and Juliet"-type situation occurs? Is he threatened with banishment from family gatherings if he chooses outside of his peer group? Is the threat of being ostracized enough to make him reconsider his choice? It strikes me as curious that even now, in 2010, men still (for the most part) conform to familial/social dictates in matters of romance and marriage. If love is blind, then why do potential partners conform to a set physical type?
Or is marriage just an arrangement to please a man's parents, and adultery is a way to please himself?
Sandra Bullock's Advice to Elin Nordegren: "I Would Have Kept Hitting!"_________________________________________________
