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Dan, your advice to LIMP—the man who was reluctant to use a vibrator on/with his wife—was right on! I'm a 34-year-old woman who needs a vibrator to get off, and for years I felt "defective." My husband didn't exactly help, but he eventually asked me to show him how I did it. He wanted to try. Bingo—the look on my face was all he needed; he was a convert.
One of his issues with the vibrator, though, was the phallic shape; he felt like it was replacing him. Many men don't like vibrators for that reason. It's bigger, harder, and lasts longer—that can intimidate a guy. But you can buy tiny vibrators that are just a couple of inches long, egg-shaped ones, and butterfly-shaped ones. LIMP should visit his local adult-toy shop with his wife and pick out a silly one that doesn't compete.
Bottom line: She has been brave enough to share her needs with you. Would you prefer it if she faked it for your entire marriage and quietly took care of herself in private?
Nothing Beats A Good Buzz
(Savage Love - 01/29/09)