To the death, bitches!
I'M the Unsexiest Woman Alive? Why, is Margaret Thatcher dead?!?
I'm ready for my close up, dammit!If TMZ sponsored a cage match between Kate, Sarah and Sharon, who would win?
TO THE VICTOR:
1. First pick of the choicest roles in the most Oscar-worthy movies
2. An entire issue of Vanity Fair dedicated to YOU
3. A sex tape of YOU & your 22-year-old Brazilian masseur "mysteriously" leaked to the media
4. Multiple hit-making duets featuring YOU with Timbaland, Timberlake and Mariah
5. An Oscar-worthy, behind-the-scenes documentary about YOU
6. An entire line of John Galliano couture inspired by YOU
7. 10 Manolo Blahniks named after YOU & YOUR MOODS - eg. The Pissed Parker or The Haughty Winslet or The Vulgar Stone
8. Movie theatres named after YOU in every impoverished nation in the world
9. First pick of the cutest, most depraved Third World orphans for YOU to adopt/exploit
10. YOU will become a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador FOR LIFE
11. YOU/YOUR CHOICE of dubbed pop starlet will sing the national anthem at ANY OR ALL Super Bowls
12. YOU will have a prominent seat at the dining table of the Leader of the Free World AND get to influence foreign policy
13. YOU AND ONLY YOU will get to produce any movie YOU WANT
14. Any critic of YOU or YOUR WORK will be executed UPON YOUR DEMAND
15. YOU WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE!!!
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NEW POSTS
Party Fashion
Party Poopers
Academy Awards
Saaay What?
