Hotel Le Germain

Entrance/exit to Mercer St.

Floor-to-ceiling wooden wall

Peep-show seating if you're wearing a mini skirt

Stark white lobby lounge chairs

Perfect staircase for making a dramatic entrance

"The Three Sisters" (ok, I made that up)

The library stocked with books of poetry in French & English

Their laundry bill must be through the roof

You're going to host your next birthday party here

Ok, who ordered the barrel?

Drop your keys in there - go ahead, I dare ya!

Marshmallows never had it so good

Conference room - aww, apples & kleenex for everybody!

Unleash your inner Tiger on the rooftop putting green

Stylish suite bathroom for the exhibitionist in your life

Room 408 by Focht_flickr.com

I was at the Hotel Le Germain last night. By far one of my favourite hotels, it's sleek, petite (only 122 rooms), and tres moderne.

Why yes, it's french - how'd you guess?

Started in Quebec by the Germain family, this hotel is probably as close to W Hotel chic as Toronto's ever going to get. I'll take it. I'm kinda tired of the stuffy, chintzy, floral-patterned, green-carpeted, stuck-in-the-80s decor of so many of the other high-end hotels, like the Four Seasons (ours is the flagship and looking pretty run down), the Royal York and the King Edward. I've yet to be invited to The Hazelton, the latest addition to the luxury hotel market (snobs!), but I know for a fact it caters almost exclusively to an older, wealthier crowd; Le Germain's the place to be for a younger, laid-back, downtown vibe.

So what do you do at 3 am while waiting for a cab? Take pics of course! The ones above are from November and as you can see, there's nary a soul in sight. Last night, I was there a bit earlier, so people were still having dinner and chatting up a storm. After my call, I waited for the cab as the rain poured down. This older guy was checking me out from behind his newspaper and I could tell he was interested, but I don't conduct business in public. To me, that's kind of tacky and awkward. I prefer to be contacted through official channels (phone or email) which is more discreet. When I'm out and about, I act like a "civilian" (as one client put it) and expect to be treated as such. I couldn't possibly stand for anything else.

Last night was a good haul for me. I made the most money I've ever made for the shortest amount of time I've ever worked without even having to take off my clothes. Yes!

I say it's about fucking time.

Prospects are slim these days, and since I'm not tapped into the high-end market (i.e. connected through a madame or booker), I cater to guys whose savings are quickly dwindling - the once mighty middle class. As their prospects go down, so do mine. Mostly decent, hardworking men, they relied on their brokers to line their nests and wound up getting screwed. Small business owners, consultants, traders, government workers - these guys are heading towards retirement at the worst possible time. By now, they've probably re-thought their entire game plan in an attempt to weather the storm. Who can blame them? This year's going to be a doozy. They won't stop getting horny, but now when they do, they're more likely to go to the lower end of the market where the girls are practically giving it away.

Seriously, it's downright shocking how low the prices are in the back of the local alternative weeklies. These rates weren't adjusted for the recession - they were always like that. I'm talking $60 full service for 30 minutes. Are you fucking kidding me? That's a fire sale! You know the girls are doing at least 10 calls per night to make a few hundred bucks. I suspect most of them are illegal, underage and hooked up with a pimp. Who knows what their cut is. And the conditions they work under? I don't even want to go there. Apparently police are cracking down on the guys who run operations like these, but the ads are as ubiquitous as ever, so obviously the system's got more than a few holes in it. Either that, or somebody high up on the food chain wants to hang on to his favourite 15-year-old, blonde Asian hookers with the fakest DDs on the planet. Oh yeah, I've seen them around.

Anyway, last night Mr. Oil & Gas was obviously a guy of means. He wasn't vulgar about it -
it just was what it was. Sure, we can resent men like that all we want, but the truth is, put in the same position I don't think any of us would turn down the opportunities great wealth affords, no matter how tacky or decadent or wasteful. Most of us have lousy taste. If the numbers were reversed and the majority of us were stinkin' rich, there'd be a heck of a lot more gold toilet seats in the world. And yachts with stripper poles. And stretch limos outfitted with a jacuzzi in the back. Me, I'd probably splurge on designer couture dresses I'd wear only once. And shoes, handbags, jewelry, sofas, paintings, a personal chef and trainer...I could go on and on.

For now though, I'm going to get my teeth fixed. How's that for luxury living?

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