Liveblogging He's Just Not That Into You
The Stars Talk About the Movie
Greg Behrendt's Dating Tips
*I don't know about you but I have the uncanny ability to spot out a stinker from its trailers and how the movie is presented.
*I remember reading that book. Well, some of it. I couldn't stomach it. It was basically "If he's not borderline stalking you, he doesn't like you. Oh, he HAS to make all the moves. If you ever have to, he doesn't like you."
*I'll go see this movie when they change the name to "He's just an emotionally unavailable assclown."
*I saw Drew Barrymore on The Early Show, spouting off stereotypes about men vs. women to promote this garbage film. I expected more from her.
*I'm going to see this but only to spend some time with Bradley Cooper. No other reason.
*I think this movie will merit the designation VOM-com.
*I couldn't tell you who the first little boy I liked was if you held a gun to my head.
I could probably remember the guy I did the whole 'parts showing' thing with, tho'! Much more memorable.
*Wait... aren't there self help books for men as well? Maybe men just don't care to see them turned into theatrical filmed productions. Men prefer fighting robots... duh.
*Yes I'm gonna call him, I have no respect for the sanctity of marriage or his wife. I'm deceitful and untrustworthy and want to ruin his marriage, yay me!
*You know, I usually wait for married men to call me, just because I don't necessarily want to get in the way of their marriage, or anything, but to each her own, Scarjo.
>@__: What, are you living in 1950? It's SO OK to call marrieds now. Sheesh. Who cares about VOWS?
*Wait, they are suggesting there are women who actually would attempt to date a married man? I mean, I know that there are, but don't we all agree that's a stupid idea?
>@__: Short answer: yes.
*Yes, Aniston. I want all guys I date who don't want to marry me to treat me like s**t.
*"I want you to stop being nice to me unless you're gonna marry me."
My brian just melted. My brain, too.
>@__: That makes no fucking sense. There's no connection whatsoever. Who wrote this shit? Damn you Greg Berndhart!!
>@__: This explains why no one is ever nice to me. I'm not married to them!
*I seriously can't believe they're interrupting the movie with little sassy skits. That is so 90s.
>@__: When Harry Met Sally is rolling around in its movie grave and then coming back to life to eat this movie's brains.
>@__: They wouldn't dare eat this movie's brains. They much rather eat brains of decent movies, not this shit.
*Men: The Most Important Thing Women Have to Talk About!
*So, the women in this movie have had some sort of serious head trauma right? It would help explain the massive amounts of dumb.
I'm waiting for the moment they flat out say that people who don't believe in marriage are cowards/don't like you. Because, you know, people can't just be happy being in a committed relationship, especially not women. Also, I have never met a girl who went on about gaining weight after being dumped. My girlfriends always went "This sucks. Let's go do something fun so I don't have to think about it" and slowly got over it.
*People still use MySpace? When was this written?
*"She says he has an ass that makes her wanna dry-hump.
He says, I think I just fell in love!"
I spewed hot chocolate out of my nose onto the monitor after reading that!
>@__: Who says that to a married man?!?!?
>@__: WHO SAYS THAT- PERIOD?
>@__: It's hard for me as an aspiring screenwriter to see lines like that. It depresses me actually. I'm going to watch All About Eve again.
*I stopped seeing someone once because I saw how big his ego was in the daylight.
*women love drama, waiting till the last minute, pacing, freaking out.
Well, fuck you too, screenwriter. Fuck you. I could look up who you are but I won't.
>@__: Right? I hate ALL of that.
*And he goes, "Don't go doodling my name on your binder. I like you like a Basset hound because you're kinda pathetic."
I have NO words.
>@__: I do. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
*God, nothing makes me want to screw more than being called pathetic and a dog in the SAME SENTENCE.
*Just remember Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein got a nice check to write this tripe.
And if the movie is #1 for the weekend -- the studio will probably give them hybrid cars or something as a bonus.
*He calls her pathetic? Seriously?! TO HER FACE?! Oh my God.
>@__: Aaaand how much you wanna bet they end up together at the end? I put down $20.
>@__: I'm not taking that bet because I like keeping my money.
>@__: That would be one of the only times where I would physically slap a guy across the face and/or kick him in the balls.
>@__: Oh that SO deserves a ball-kick. I cannot believe that. Did she smile afterwards? Did she giggle like an idiot? If she sleeps with him, I will be officially done with Margie.
*I had a lot of respect for Bradley Cooper up to now. Ginnifer Goodwin, too. Justin Long's been a lost cause since, well, always.
*Wait, is Drew Barrymore even IN this movie? Does she get a plot or is she just there to be friends with beautiful gays of color?
*Everyone. Please just come out of the closet already. We can all see through your charade. Really.
>@__: Wouldn't it be great if the whole thing ended with a big gay orgy?
>@__: Completely. The title is only a teaser..."He's Just Not That Into You...Because He's Into Him."
*Hollywood's just not that into women.
*Is she into him? Or is she just happy that a boy - any boy, even a d-bag like this one - likes her?
*It's late here and I like to go to bed not angry so I'm going to finish reading this live blog in the morning.
It will be a good motivation. Excellent writing inspires me and the rest makes me not give up.
*For being such a dating guru, Justin Long's character sure does a lot of talking out of his ass.
*A hate fuck with Kevin Connolly, that's not so bad.
*Jeez Louise, how long is this movie!??!??
*This movie is never going to end, is it?
*Hurling my body onto yours? Well, that just doesn't sound very pleasant.
*The hard part: Obviously, most women don't want to be single, but it's not a fate worse than death or of being in a terrible marriage or family situation in which your dreams are subsidiary to everyone else's.
*Hear that, ladies? As soon as you decide you don't want to marry him, he'll propose! If you love it, set it free. Good christ.
*This movie sucks so hard it broke the liveblog format. That's talent.
*Well, that sucked.
Not the liveblogging -- the liveblogging was awesome. But the movie sucked even more than I expected it to suck. Not a single interesting story arc in the whole thing. Boo.
>@__: Yeah, I'm not even going to try to sneak into this. I knew the ending before it even began...craptastic.
>@__: Well, it is a romantic comedy. But I thought the key to the successful genre film was to give the audience what it expects, but not in the way it expects it.
*Aaand thank GOD for the liveblog. I was going to see it and now, HELL TO THE NO. Thank you for not only saving me $12 but also 3 hours of my life.
*Well, that sounds exactly like the kind of insipid crap I thought it was going to be.
Please, everyone: DO NOT GO TO THIS MOVIE. Rent it on DVD if you must. If you pay to see this drek at the theater, you are part of the problem. Seriously.